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Morutea
22-10-2006, 07:04
Hello all, It is my first post :) (http://1universityofphoenix.blogspot.com) I want your thoughts on this: Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now? (Pay the bills they run up etc, just because they did it for you when you were younger and unable to work) Thanks. :) (http://buyamoxicillin.blogspot.com)

Oggy
22-10-2006, 18:37
I like to help out my mom and dad, they were always there for me when I needed them, not so much in money as in help, decorating etc too.

Aidan
23-10-2006, 17:49
Both of mine are well, thank God & comfortably off. If, Heaven forbid, that changed I'd gladly help out as I know it's a cliché but I do owe them and not just financially.
For a while I lived at home while working, they wouldn't take rent or upkeep from me but I insisted in bringing something home - anything from sausages, swets, cakes, newspapers, etc - every evening.

MommaMystique
28-10-2006, 20:26
My nan brought me up after raising four of her own children, three of which she was left with when Grandad died of a lung condition contracted during the WWII when he was gassed. I tried hard to provide NAn with little luxuries every week once I started working..... half pound of real butter or a jar of Nescafe instead of Camp coffee... the things she loved but just could not afford. once she got wise to this and forbade me from doing it again.... she was a proud woman.... I resorted to making her hampers for her birthday, xmas and Easter. She couldnt get round this. This year on the 26th of November it will be twenty years exactly since i lost her and I would give my entire years wgaes and more to be able to have one more day with her. Your parents/ Grand-parents deserve your respect and support.

Oggy
28-10-2006, 20:43
Emotional, and very thoughtful Momma.

Parents/ Grand-parents are special, not until they'r e gone you then realise how much thye mean to you. I'm adopted if it wasn't for my mom and dad where would I be now, they're always there for me and my kids, all of them. Memories too are very precious, special, but the sad thing is they eventually fade, but not the feeling inside. My nan died a few years ago now and I still miss her, as I do my grandad, he was like a father/dad to me, as was also my step dad/Pops, god bless all in the big party of happiness called heaven.

Smee_1972
30-10-2006, 21:53
Wow Momma M, that brought a tear to my eye. What lovely words.

I lost my darling Mum 2 years ago - she was only 58. A short time before she left us, she told me she was worried how my Dad would cope alone and I promised her that I would always, always be there for him.

He doesn't need 'looking after' - he's 63 and full of life and energy and is very self-sufficient - but I will honour my promise to Mum. Not that it's a chore. I love him very much and he and Mum were always there for my sis and I, even when we were ungrateful selfish little ****s in our teenage years.

Momma, you said it all when you said you'd give an entire year's wages just for one more day with your Nan. That is how I feel about my Mum. To all reading this - it is a cliche, but you really do not appreciate your parent(s) until they are gone and I would give ANYTHING to have my Mum back again.

Oggy, you made me smile when you said all our lost loved ones are all in the big party of happiness called heaven. What a lovely thought!

Oggy
31-10-2006, 07:29
Smee, you gotta think that when people die theres something wonderrful and happy, beyond, and fun, my nan and Pop's, etc would so love a party, but imagine a kareoke party.......? Elvis, John Lennon, Buddy Holly, definetly a whole lot of shaking would be going on.

Smee_1972
31-10-2006, 23:02
Wow Oggy, what an idea! How about our ideas for the ultimate Heaven Band???

Mine might be somthing like this.....


On drums - John Bonham (Led Zeppelin)
On lead guitar - Jimi Hendrix (who else???)
On second guitar - Rory Gallagher (Taste)
On vocals - Freddie Mercury (Queen)
On keyboard - Ray Charles
On bass - John Entwistle (The Who)


Whaddaya think??? :o

CARROLLKRC
05-11-2006, 00:51
Im a bit concerned that you have no room for any member of a FLOCK OF SEAGULLS should they keel over in the near distant future!!

Oggy
05-11-2006, 09:14
Flock of Seagulls were one of my fave bands, loved the lead singers haircut too.

Yep fantasy band lineup.I sense a thread?

MommaMystique
06-11-2006, 13:30
Wow Oggy, what an idea! How about our ideas for the ultimate Heaven Band???

Mine might be somthing like this.....


On drums - John Bonham (Led Zeppelin)
On lead guitar - Jimi Hendrix (who else???)
On second guitar - Rory Gallagher (Taste)
On vocals - Freddie Mercury (Queen)
On keyboard - Ray Charles
On bass - John Entwistle (The Who)


Whaddaya think??? :o


Yeah! Get that thread started then Smee

steve edwards
06-11-2006, 13:48
:cry: hi guys
i too lost my mum about three years ago , but what was really heartbreaking was the fact that i never had a chance to say goodbye as she was on hoilday at the time .
The one thing she ever wanted was a grand child of her own , and six months before she died she was gifted with one , i still think to this day that she only waited to make sure that my little girl was ok in the world and then she could go .

With the idea of the group the vocalist HAS to be freddie mercury as mum absolutley adored him and so would whole heartedly agree .

She was 64 when she died , but will be with me forever :cry:

Aidan
15-11-2006, 15:26
A little of both themes on this thread - what music do/did your parents like ?
Me dad likes Makem & Clancy and the Dubliners ( Irish folk groups ) while both my folks like Roger Whittaker, Abba, Simon & Garfunkel, the Seekers. They have the same ear for a decent tune as I do.

MommaMystique
19-11-2006, 15:50
Mother was a Joan Baez fan who also loves Meatloaf
Father was an Elvis fan

OrangeCremolaFoam
27-11-2006, 13:42
Hi guys..

Interesting and thought proking post..I lost my dad when he was 42 in a Coal Mining Accident here in Fife as he was a miner, I was 2 at the time..My Mum died 12 years back of a terminal Illness but at least I had her here for a while, cause she was ill my amazing Granny brought me up, even though she was a lady in her 70's at the time..She was a typical Scottish Granny, believed in Family values and, I like to think, brought me up well and treated me brilliantly..I miss them all very much, especially the older I get (im 38 now) and its only when people are gone you realise just how much they shaped your life and how much they sacrificed for you..Id do anything to see them again, and hopefully, when it comes my time I will..;0)...

Im lucky though in that I have great friends who treat me like family and I have my two lovely wee daughters Kayleigh and Lily and I still have a fantastic older sister, Mary who I love dearly...Please never forget how much your mum and dad love you as you cant tell them when they arent here and god knows there will be times you want too!!!! lol...

peace and love to all...

Rab ;0)

Fife
Scotland...

Smee_1972
27-11-2006, 21:48
Hey Rab,


Just wanted to say, what a lovely post. As you may have read, I lost my Mum two and half years ago and there's not a day that goes by when I wouldn't go to the stars and back single-handed if it meant I could have her back with me again. Your Gran sounds like an amazing lady. How lucky you were to have had her in your life as well as your parents.

I am certain you will see them all again one day - I certainly expect my Mum to be waiting for me when it's my time!

And another thing - what a timely posting; I have just had a (very very rare) disagreement with my Dad and have been upset. But I am going to call him now. Love is stronger than any silly argument.


~Smee_1972 :o

OrangeCremolaFoam
28-11-2006, 01:29
Hiya Smee!!!

Awww..im very glad you are calling your dad pal, thats great and thanks for the lovely comments, I guess we think alike and im sorry for your loss regarding your mum...my mum used to tell me death was a natural part of life and i realise now she was a wise and quite contented woman, despite illness and had little doubts that she was going to a better place..;0) hey, shes probably having a good chat a cuppa with your mum right now..;0)..she was like me..never shutup even talked in her sleep! lol lol..

I treat people like id like to be treated myself and as my gran used to say, what comes around goes around and ..you get your reward in heaven! lol.. its not at all a bad way to think , even if your not religious (im not really!)..I want to cherish and make a fuss of the people I care about whilst I can and manners, treating folk decently and lending a hand and a sympathetic ear when needed usually costs nothing or very little except time and that is something I can do easily...isnt it funny that on a forum that 'specialises' in Nostalgia you can meet a whole bunch of people with similar values, hopes,attitudes and aspirations!! now that IS something special..;0)..

You take care now and thanks again for the lovely reply hun...XXX

love and best wishes..

Rab ;0)

Fife
Scotland

steve edwards
28-11-2006, 11:39
hi there in reply to momma mystique , my mum was an avid fan of elvis presley and she listened to him since i can remember , but in her later years , she also became a great fan of queen , ( with a little help from me i feel ) but she loved to sit in her conservatory and have freddie singing away to her , so it seemed fit that after she passed away we should have freddie mercury playing at her funeral , so we played "heaven for everyone "and i have never listened to it since as it evokes too much pain and emotion .

OrangeCremolaFoam
28-11-2006, 12:10
Hiya Steve...

Im sorry to hear about your mum mate and the suffering that those raw emotions can bring, mustve been very difficult for you with her being on holiday..my sympathies friend..glad to hear she was an avid music lover though and you cant go wrong with old Queen!! R.I.P. Freddie..You too will meet with her again when the time is right...;0)

I totally get what you mean about certain songs and not being able to listen to them again mate..My sister sang 'wind Beneath My Wings' at my dear mums Funeral and, to be honest I never really liked the song anyway but, my sisters sang it for my mum purely for the words and the meaning behind them.. the whole Church was in tears and I feel teary even typing this!!! but, she done her proud mate..cant listen to that song now though, its still too painfull even after 12 or so years..

You take care mate....

Rab ;0)

Fife
Scotland

Smee_1972
28-11-2006, 23:19
Aw Steve, your post brought tears to my eyes. My Mum, too, adored Freddie 'n' Queen and every time I hear him sing I think of her and if I am listening to the radio in the car, I turn it up loud and open the window so she can hear!

I can understand why you can't listen to that beautiful song. There's songs I still can't listen to. Maybe one day we'll be able to listen to those emotional songs and they'll make us smile as remember those we love.

And Rab, thank you for your sweet words! I know this is supposed to be a nostalgia site but hey, our parents were part of our younger life, so why not?

I love the sound of your Mum! I am sure she and my Mum would love to share a cuppa and a gossip. I shall see her again one day - I don't doubt that at all - can't wait!!!

Thanks again Rab for your words, they really are very much appreciated......called my Dad yesterday as I said I would, and all is well. That's the main thing.




~Smee_1972 :o

OrangeCremolaFoam
29-11-2006, 01:13
Hi again Smee..

Thats excellent news..you did the right thing and I know you know that..nice one..;0) I agree with the comment regrading parents..one thing our generation still seems to hold dear is RESPECT...where respect is due....I used to work for the Museums Service here in Fife and specialised in Scotland during the Second World War..As part of my job i interviewed many Veterans, from all Services and Also Polish Paratroopers who landed at Arnhem and formed and trained in my home town here in Fife,in exile...What became very clear very quickly was the Debt we owe these brave men..even though they were in their 80's some of things they had seen and done were frankly so far removed from my life that they seemed unbelievable...they were all polite, courteous and very modest too....

My Grandfather seerved in World War 2 in the 1st Army,Scottish Infantry attached to the7th Armoured Division and served in North Africa, sicily, Italy and finally Greece..He took part in many major Battles and was wounded at Tobruk and also took part in the Liberation of Athens..he is my hero and well he should be..i have his 5 medals and he is not forgotten in my mind..I go to the War Memorial on Armistice Day just simply because he no longer can(he passed away many years back) and for the friends he lost in Battle...its the very least I can do...

Im sure many of you here feel the same about grandparents and what they did for our Freedom 60 years back..We should never forget...;0)

love and best wishes...

Rab ;0)

Fife
Scotland

darren
04-05-2012, 11:38
what i think is its good to help your parents out when they are are older.
it may only be doing simple things like making them a cup of tea or taking the washing out of the machine or helping them pay bills but they will not see it as a meaningless act.

parents spend their lives helping out there kids be the kids teens or in their thirties.

i do feel kids now have little respect for there parents.
im not saying its this way with all kids today.
but i feel when us thirty somethings and older where kids a bigger percentage of kids respected there parents than they do now.

Heather74
04-05-2012, 11:41
i do feel kids now have little respect for there parents.
im not saying its this way with all kids today.
but i feel when us thirty somethings and older where kids a bigger percentage of kids respected there parents than they do now. Thing is with kids of today, maybe the fault lies with the generations that's bringing them up???

darren
04-05-2012, 11:45
Thing is with kids of today, maybe the fault lies with the generations that's bringing them up???

yes thats got something to do with it as well H.

Some parents are not good parents.
but you are a model parent.:)

Emma34
23-08-2012, 12:37
My parents were virtually non-existent! Dad was a commercial traveller as they were know then, and mum was very unstable mentally deficient type of person who suffered various types of depression and anxieties and spent most of her time in bed when she wasn't at some nursing home or another!
My 3 sister and brother and I sort of brought ourselves up and had no idea of what a proper household or family was supposed to be. With the result that my attempts at bringing up my 3 children lacked a good deal of affection but lots of strict rules, many of which I regret very much to this day. .. :cry:

darren
23-08-2012, 14:51
Very sad to hear that emma and i really feel for you.

Thing you learn from your parents how to bring children up.
they are like role models.

you may have made strict rules but you did your very best considering everything you went through with you and your siblings bringing yourselves up dont be too tough on yourself.


and i respect you massively for that.

dont be to tough on yourself the main thing you cared for your kids where there for them and you did very best.
Im sure you mum did her best considering her depression which at that time had a worse stigma than it does now.



My parents were virtually non-existent! Dad was a commercial traveller as they were know then, and mum was very unstable mentally deficient type of person who suffered various types of depression and anxieties and spent most of her time in bed when she wasn't at some nursing home or another!
My 3 sister and brother and I sort of brought ourselves up and had no idea of what a proper household or family was supposed to be. With the result that my attempts at bringing up my 3 children lacked a good deal of affection but lots of strict rules, many of which I regret very much to this day. .. :cry:

sf1378
23-08-2012, 19:57
If I could have my teenage years all over again I wouldn't have been a petulant, tempramental s--t to my Mum and Dad. I'd also have been more helpful and understanding. And sadly, I wasn't. Hindsights a 'wonderful' thing - no, its just life slapping sense into us when we're older, wiser and they've long left the planet. Many of you know my Mum died in 2005 aged 57, this then hit my Dad very hard and atop life just leaving him, he suffered from health complications - lung disease from years of smoking, spinal compression, and also undetected hyponaetremia (low sodium) causing psychosis and muddled thought. It was a difficult time for me as well having just lost my Mum to then see him crumble and in hindsight I wish I'd just dumped my then girlfriend and simply concentrated and coped more with Dad - he needed me. I was a home Carer to him, keeping the house tidy and him fed, if he fell ill getting him into hospital etc but he needed me more. I'm not being hard on myself I'm simply admitting that as a Son I failed him whereas he as a parent, in hindsight was brilliant. Same with my Mum. I've written about my Dad's extremely tough childhood and hardships and a lot of you admired his grit - he was a great man. I sometimes imagine what it would be like to have my parents and my Mum's parents around (they told me a lot about them and they sounded brilliant, and funny). Sometimes, I actually wish I could time travel back to the 1970's to see them in their prime...my Mum being my Mum would probably ask me why the hell I'd be staring at her...she was like that...

My parents used to say that I'd learn their value once they'd died - very, very true. All the posters here have practically said the same thing. I didn't get to say goodbye to either of them as they died and that hits me hard too. I wish I'd made something of my life when both of them were alive and while I am now retraining doing Graphic Communication at Uni it leaves a bitter, why bother sort of taste in my mouth - they aren't here and if I do continue they won't be there for the final year show of our work and to clap on my Graduation - so if I do continue, I may not bother with the exhibition nor attending the Graduation Ceremony - I admit, to see kids with their proud parents will, naturally get to me.

I constantly think about them - sometimes happy memories, other times anger at myself. Sometimes I dream of them, and its odd, its like they are just out of the periphery of my vision in my dreams that they are there. I remember after my Dad died, for 2 weeks I really felt his presence near me, walking beside me and in the house - then it was gone. It saddens me that if I ever married, I wouldn't have them around to see potential grand children...

There have often been times I wish my Father where here to ask 'what do I do?' regarding my current problems since he died...I know someone on here considers me some 'black souled cancer' etc and an 'emotional blackmailer of the forum' but I'm just articulating things a lot of us feel about parents gone.

In 3 days time it will be a year to the day (not the exact day as we've had Bank Hols etc) that he died and the dawning pain of it is encroaching.

Anyhow, I also agree, our generation and our parents and grandparents generations respected things more on the whole - the kids of today are worser as their parents don't hold nor have they experienced the wise nature of our parents / grandparents generations - no one really cares about the exploits of the War generation and the debt we all collectively owe them too.

I'm not religeous, not now. It left me once my Mum died. I was a Buddhist but I'd give my soul to The Devil if it brought back my parents...but that won't happen.

Richard1978
23-08-2012, 21:33
I'm lucky to still have both my parents, though my Dad had quite a bad health scare last year.

I've normally got on with them well, though sometimes we've not seen eye-to-eye on certain issues. I can think of a few times I would like to wind back the clock to change something I did.

My cousins have had a rough time the last few years, with loosing their Mum to cancer, & their Dad living away from them.

darren
23-08-2012, 23:50
im real sorry to hear this.

i will be thinking of you as this sad anniversary comes up in a few days.
im lucky both my parents are still alive and in there mid sixties.

i hope you do continue and go the graduation your parents will not be there but i do know they would be hugely proud of you.


If I could have my teenage years all over again I wouldn't have been a petulant, tempramental s--t to my Mum and Dad. I'd also have been more helpful and understanding. And sadly, I wasn't. Hindsights a 'wonderful' thing - no, its just life slapping sense into us when we're older, wiser and they've long left the planet. Many of you know my Mum died in 2005 aged 57, this then hit my Dad very hard and atop life just leaving him, he suffered from health complications - lung disease from years of smoking, spinal compression, and also undetected hyponaetremia (low sodium) causing psychosis and muddled thought. It was a difficult time for me as well having just lost my Mum to then see him crumble and in hindsight I wish I'd just dumped my then girlfriend and simply concentrated and coped more with Dad - he needed me. I was a home Carer to him, keeping the house tidy and him fed, if he fell ill getting him into hospital etc but he needed me more. I'm not being hard on myself I'm simply admitting that as a Son I failed him whereas he as a parent, in hindsight was brilliant. Same with my Mum. I've written about my Dad's extremely tough childhood and hardships and a lot of you admired his grit - he was a great man. I sometimes imagine what it would be like to have my parents and my Mum's parents around (they told me a lot about them and they sounded brilliant, and funny). Sometimes, I actually wish I could time travel back to the 1970's to see them in their prime...my Mum being my Mum would probably ask me why the hell I'd be staring at her...she was like that...

My parents used to say that I'd learn their value once they'd died - very, very true. All the posters here have practically said the same thing. I didn't get to say goodbye to either of them as they died and that hits me hard too. I wish I'd made something of my life when both of them were alive and while I am now retraining doing Graphic Communication at Uni it leaves a bitter, why bother sort of taste in my mouth - they aren't here and if I do continue they won't be there for the final year show of our work and to clap on my Graduation - so if I do continue, I may not bother with the exhibition nor attending the Graduation Ceremony - I admit, to see kids with their proud parents will, naturally get to me.

I constantly think about them - sometimes happy memories, other times anger at myself. Sometimes I dream of them, and its odd, its like they are just out of the periphery of my vision in my dreams that they are there. I remember after my Dad died, for 2 weeks I really felt his presence near me, walking beside me and in the house - then it was gone. It saddens me that if I ever married, I wouldn't have them around to see potential grand children...

There have often been times I wish my Father where here to ask 'what do I do?' regarding my current problems since he died...I know someone on here considers me some 'black souled cancer' etc and an 'emotional blackmailer of the forum' but I'm just articulating things a lot of us feel about parents gone.

In 3 days time it will be a year to the day (not the exact day as we've had Bank Hols etc) that he died and the dawning pain of it is encroaching.

Anyhow, I also agree, our generation and our parents and grandparents generations respected things more on the whole - the kids of today are worser as their parents don't hold nor have they experienced the wise nature of our parents / grandparents generations - no one really cares about the exploits of the War generation and the debt we all collectively owe them too.

I'm not religeous, not now. It left me once my Mum died. I was a Buddhist but I'd give my soul to The Devil if it brought back my parents...but that won't happen.

sf1378
24-08-2012, 01:41
Its alright Daz. I think anyone whose lost a parent etc, when someone says 'I'm sorry to hear that' - your real reaction is 'such is life'. Which it is. My Mum certainly did a lot for her parents - she said of it, 'I couldn't leave them and not help them as they were my parents', I guess if you have good parents you do help them in old age. i regret not doing so much but moreover not being able to do as much financially as my life didn't pan out as I've wanted and it really angers me. My Dad did a lot for his Dad, even though he hated the old bugger. Truly. But, he said of it that he was his Father and I guess bloods thicker than water - shame my Grand Father didn't appreciate my Father so much - again, such is life eh?

Anyhow, on a random thought, anyone else surprised by how a lot of people think Bodie and Doyle were actually gay in The Professionals??? I've seen some very odd 'fan fiction' about it when I was looking for images for mock design packaging I recently did imagining Palitoy had made toy figures and vehicles of the characters...:confused: I was even more surprised to find out that some folk thought Regan and Carter were gay as well...ooh err missus...

LittleBoo
23-09-2012, 22:09
As a child many see their parents as 'just there', as if they only have the title 'Mum and Dad'.
Also we get used to seeing them do it all, so it rarely dawns on a child to offer help.

It's only as we grow up and mature do we dawn that Mum and Dad are people in their own right, have a life too.
Also what I found was lovely is getting to know them as people, hearing what they did at school, through work etc, that opened my mind to wanting to know a lot more, and with all that I changed how I saw my parents.

I am so grateful that I still have my parents, as the relationship now we have, as we all are adults, is amazing.
But to hear many saying they have lost their parents before they actually got to really know them, is so very sad.

I would walk the earth to help them, because I know they sacrificed so much for me when I was growing up, they did without, but they won't do without any more, that's for sure.

themilkman
25-09-2012, 20:42
Parents are the most important thing in your life......the important thing is to be able to understand this before it's too late.

I had a rather more varied and unusual upbringing from most people of my age, but not in a bad way i hasten to add, and I was very fortunate to experience and see things that many children wouldn't have done, and that was all down to my parents who wanted to give my sisters and myself as good an upbringing as they could.
Unfortunately when we came back to England my mum was killed in a road accident which sent my dad over the edge so to speak.

I was 20 at the time and I had an older sister who'd already married and had left home, but a younger sister and myself still remained at home.
It hit my dad hard and he basically rejected us............he obviously regrets much what happened at the time but it still happened.

Nevertheless, i wish that i'd shown them as much love as they showed me when I were younger, when I was still able to.

Biscuits
04-10-2012, 15:30
I'm fortunate that both my parents are still around and are both quite active... mum still works and still helps me out if I do overtime for example (my youngest is ten) but I know if ever they need me then I'm there for them both. It's a two way street.
I work as a home carer for the elderly and I'd say 2/3 of the people I visit have good contact with their children. Unfortunately 1/3 don't and I find that heartbreaking.

ann22
02-02-2013, 23:57
My nan brought me up after raising four of her own children, three of which she was left with when Grandad died of a lung condition contracted during the WWII when he was gassed. I tried hard to provide NAn with little luxuries every week once I started working..... half pound of real butter or a jar of Nescafe instead of Camp coffee... the things she loved but just could not afford. once she got wise to this and forbade me from doing it again.... she was a proud woman.... I resorted to making her hampers for her birthday, xmas and Easter. She couldnt get round this. This year on the 26th of November it will be twenty years exactly since i lost her and I would give my entire years wgaes and more to be able to have one more day with her. Your parents/ Grand-parents deserve your respect and support.

This is a lovely post, really moving.:o

xmark1234
03-02-2013, 00:11
i try help my mum and dad as much as i can i treat them to weekends away cause they want go book it them selfs and going out for meals etc i carnt give them money for bills mine take some clearing but they always there to help out so i treat them again lol