King Charlie and Princess Barbie: the 2023 Review

[George 1978]

KING CHARLIE AND PRINCESS BARBIE: THE 2023 REVIEW

A chance to be both in the pink and orange...

After what happened in 2022; one change of monarch and two changes of Prime Minister, one wonders whether it could have been bettered? Even I changed over to an academic year diary so that I could record both of them in one volume. There was a coronation to look forward to, and that suited me fine. The start of a year without HM Queen Elizabeth II seemed strange, even though the Christmas Day message a week earlier reminded us who our "new" monarch was; it almost like an epoch into the unknown similar to the start of the year 2000 and the Millennium Bug.

I just couldn't wait to see HM King Charles III crowned; in fact, I had waited years just like anyone else, but the moment finally came on former Prime Minister Sir Tony Blair's 70th birthday of Saturday 6th May. The familiar heavy objects of silver was placed on both His Majesty and his wife's head and one was proud to be British. I toasted the Royal couple on some horrible "grass-cuttings" taste of alcohol-free wine from Tesco as they stood on the balcony, and I sent off for the special Coronation plate that the Daily Mail was offering, paying £15 online and supplying the code number from two copies of the paper; the second one happened to be the 14th May edition of the Mail on Sunday. The irony is that May 6th will be a Bank Holiday in 2024 as well, courtesy of May Day. The King reached his full year of his reign in September and I was probably one of very few people who had taken a two minute silence at around 3.10 pm on Friday 8th September, exactly a year after his late Mother had passed away. I made a similar tribute on the first anniversary of HM Queen Elizabeth II's funeral eleven days later. To be fair, the anniversary was marked by gun salutes at Hyde Park and the Tower of London, and I saw the King on BBC Breakfast and so it wasn't completely overlooked. In Scotland, King Charles attended the Scottish coronation at St Giles' Cathedral in Edinburgh.

As a result, Norway's King of the Kings and the Czech Republic's (aka Czechia) My Sister's Crown were two Royal-related song titles in the Eurovision Song Contest just a week after the coronation which I had both supported via the expensive telephone vote - the United Kingdom hosted the contest in the British culture capital of Liverpool despite not winning it last year although Sam Ryder took us quite close to the top. As Ukraine was at war, the British stood in as hosts, and we sunk back to the bottom of the table, points-wise. Sweden won, which meant that Abba's Waterloo will probably get its 50th birthday officially celebrated in its home nation. Staying in Europe, on the May Day Bank Holiday this year I congratulated Belgium's Luca Brecel on winning World Snooker championship. Thankfully the baize was a traditional light green colour unlike the "Tangoed" orange which was criminally-damaged by Just Stop Oil protestors in an earlier round two weeks before, causing play between Robert Milkins and Joe Perry to be halted. Even our hero Rob Walker helped out with the vacuuming. Never mind getting the boys on the baize - let's get the orange powder off the baize instead. What was just as much a shock was Ronnie O'Sullivan not making it to the final, but he made up for it in a later tournament this year. The Lionesses of the England women's football team got to the final in August but Spain won 1-0 against us, and thankfully they did refer to them as Lionesses and not Lions a la actresses being referred to as actors.

A bit of seriousness now: In my own neck of the woods of Nottingham on Tuesday 13th June, I was shocked and saddened at what had made the national news, although I didn't know of the victims. Just after 4.00 am on that day, the 999 Emergency Service had received reports of an incident in which two Nottingham Trent University students and a caretaker was stabbed to death by someone driving a van. I was given the impression that Nottingham news never becomes national news considering the Liverpool bias of the Hillsborough disaster back in April 1989 (by virtue of Nottingham Forest playing Liverpool on that day). I watched the One O'clock News on BBC One and it seemed strange to hear familiar Nottingham street names such as Ilkeston Road, Milton Street and Magdala Road being featured on the national news. The police cordoned off many parts of Nottingham City Centre. However, travelling there by bus the following day, things seemed to be back to normal which one feels to be a relief. I did go along to the front steps of the Council House overlooking the Old Market Square on the Friday morning to see the flowers and tributes to the victims from various people. I feel for all them concerned including the three members of the public who survived but were injured.

Staying in Nottingham, just after Birmingham City Council declared itself bankrupt, Nottingham City Council (where I had to live under during the earlier part of my life due to some inner-city curse which affected generations of my own family), followed suit, which made me glad that I no longer lived under them anymore. Thank goodness for the two-tier council system that I live under as I have always assumed that unitary authorities were vulnerable for this thing to happen, and it was a mistake for Nottingham City Council to "leave" the County Council back on April Fool's Day in 1998. Boris Johnson finally did the decent thing and resigned as a Member of Parliament thanks to Partygate, triggering a by-election in Uxbridge which was held by the Conservatives. Nadine Dorries eventually resigned as well after a couple of months of "should I or shouldn't I?" in the hope for a reward or a peerage. Rishi Sunak made it to his first year of his Premiership but I don't think that he will make it to the end of his second year as Prime Minister. Saint Keir seems to be the official patron saint of the Labour Party; Keir Hardie founded the Labour Party; Sir Keir Starmer is the incumbent leader of the Labour Party; and Keir Mather is the new Baby of the House, winning the Selby and Ainsty by-election for Labour. .

I was disgusted and angered at Levi Bellfield wanting to marry his "partner" in prison and I personally thought that prisoners should not have these rights considering the fact that law-abiding people like myself even have difficulty with relationships due to personal reasons; in a nutshell, crime should not pay. After all, his victims such as Amanda Dowler was denied any chance of getting married as an adult. As for Russell Brand and all the allegations facing him, it did make me wonder why the legal age of consent is 16 in this country and not sensibly raised to 18; the same age of being able to democratically vote. These two men absolutely disgust me. The Jake Davison inquiry took place in Plymouth which I was glad for it to be eventually concluded. I was angered and upset that two youngsters (who will eventually be named) had tortured and killed poor Brianna Ghey in February, although justice had been done in time for Christmas. I personally don't have a single transphobic bone in my body and my sympathies are with Brianna's family, and I know what it is like to be different. Despite having Asperger Syndrome, I don't really have feelings for the two people who did that shocking and evil thing to her, despite the autism connection. Even I was shocked when it was revealed that Huw Edwards (who was the man who announced the death of HM Queen Elizabeth II in September 2022), was also announced as the man who by his wife as the BBC presenter being investigated for allegedly paying a 17-year-old for sexually explicit photographs. According to Wikipedia, his wife also says that he was receiving in-patient hospital care after an episode of depression following the publication of the allegations. Sadly, because of this, the historical footage of Edwards announcing the death of the Queen probably won't be used in an official context anymore which is a pity.

(Continued...)

[George 1978]

One of the big films of the year was Barbie, and what with all this talk about the aforementioned film in the media, I took the plunge and saw if for myself at the Showcase Cinema during my four day visit to Southampton at the end of August, as soon as I got past the "bags checked" phase. I don't personally believe in all this stereotypical sexist "only girls play with dolls" rubbish, and I didn't let that get in my way; (I did grow up with two sisters). In fact, a lot of people who are not quite stereotypes of the traditional Barbie target list didn't let that get in their way either. I was pleased when some men even admitted having Barbie doll collection and almost admitting it for the first time - good for them, I always say! Hot Wheels always seemed to be the main Mattel toy that I grew up with, including the beige-coloured garage. It was while I was in Southampton when I also saw Charlie rather than Charles, hence the title of this review (Charlie being "King" of the Bucket Family). Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - the Musical at the Mayflower Theatre on the previous day (i.e. my birthday), and I had experienced Jude's chocolate milkshake in a can in which I thought that only theatres or shops in Southampton had sold them. I received a lovely response from Mayflower's Chief Executive when I wrote to the theatre congratulating them on hosting the famous Roald Dahl musical. I had mostly listened to Lou Hannan on BBC Radio Solent while I was in Hampshire; in the mornings I would have otherwise listened to Ken Bruce, but he had left BBC Radio 2 in March after 31 years doing mid-mornings on-air (35 years if one counts his 1986-1990 stint in more or less the same slot), bound for Greatest Hits Radio, and not wanting to be One Year Out. Vernon Kay replaced him, and that marked the end of my years of listening to BBC Radio 2 on weekday mornings. It made me stick to Nicky Campbell on BBC Radio 5 Live almost as a protest.

Wilko closed down after over 90 years on our High Streets which meant that one had to go to Boots, Superdrug or Savers for our three Ts: toothpaste, talcum powder and tights (nude tone if you are asking), and to B&Q or Homebase for our three Ds: decorating, DIY and door handles. My local branches are still empty at the time of writing this. More and more Argos stores seem to be playing Hide and Seek inside larger Sainsbury's stores as well, which annoys me because i have always hated the "shop within a shop" concept; something which made me assume that Iceland and Littlewoods were part of the same company because of this arrangement. Lots of locals and especially visitors complain that they cannot find the main Post Office because it is hidden inside the main branch of WHSmith. And Nottingham still does not have a Deichmann shoe shop, unless one counts Derby as a suburb of Nottingham. As a footnote, the wars in Ukraine and Israel continues to happen and has happened throughout 2023.

(Continued...)

[George 1978]

Sadly no longer with us...

After the death of HM Queen Elizabeth II last year, the number of famous people passing away seemed interesting, especially when one takes into consideration that quite a few of them were prominent during our seventies and eighties childhoods. Dickie Davies was Mr Saturday Afternoon for example: five hours on ITV each Saturday and then World of Sport was axed to make way for Airwolf and Small Wonder, although the wrestling (and Kent Walton) survived for three more years - Davies reached the impressive age of 94 when he passed away in March and Half Man Half Biscuit even named one of their songs after him. On the other side, football's John "Motty" Motson, probably the most impersonated football commentator passed away in February aged 77. Also in sport, Sir Bobby Charlton CBE was the penultimate survivor of the 1966 World Cup Final squad at the age of 86. We mourned in Nottingham as well, especially if one was a Reds supporter. Trevor Francis, the first million pound footballer for Nottingham Forest passed away as well. Also from Nottingham Forest, Chris Bart-Williams left us too. Scottish football manager Craig Brown passed away aged 82.

Michael Parkinson, the chat show king, famous for interviewing, to name but a very few, Mohammad Ali, Billy Connolly, Kenneth Williams and of course Rod Hull (preferably without Emu), had died aged 88, and it was the first time on this forum that someone had beat me to it when it came to starting his obituary thread on the Gone, But Not Forgotten page. (All respect to 80sChav though!) Patricia Bredin, the first UK entrant in the Eurovision Song Contest also died at the age of 88. The former Madame Speaker Baroness Betty Boothroyd (who not only reformed the Speaker's position in the House of Commons but also was the first not to wear the traditional 18th century "hairpiece"), died aged 93. Her "order, order" catchphrase became familiar during Sir John Major's Premiership of the mid 1990s. Braintree's Alan Hurst died aged 77, and former MP Karen Lumley died aged 59. Peter Brooke who had passed away had the irony of having the House of Commons in his own constituency - well, it had to be in someone's, and it happened to be the City of London and Westminster constituency. Actress turned politician Glenda Jackson died aged 87. In the legal profession, a judge by name and nature, Baron Igor Judge died aged 82. And speaking of publications that have got sued in the past...

For the past 25 years I have read satirical magazine Private Eye almost every fortnight. Publisher of Private Eye, Peter Usborne, died in March aged 85. A regular contributor to the magazine, thanks to his Cloggies cartoon strip, cartoonist Bill Tidy died aged 89. Dare I say it, someone who was famous for also doing cartoons, and playing with his wobble board (although nothing much else, thankfully) was Rolf Harris who was 93. Harris had a Christmas number one in 1969 (and also appeared in the children's hospital visits in the same year on Christmas morning). An earlier Christmas chart victor back in 1957 was Harry Belafonte, famous for the politically incorrect Banana Boat song, had died aged 96. For Christmas 1957 he performed an earlier version of Mary's Boy Child in which Boney M covered 21 years later and sent it back to number one. Comedy actress Jean Boht passed away at 91, appearing in the Liverpudlian sitcom Bread, and had even sold Trisha Yates a hamster in Grange Hill. Not to mention her name seemed to be like the Alma Cogan mondegreen Dreamboat. Trisha Yates' former classmate Alan Humphries/Hargraves/Turner (take your pick) was played by the late George Armstrong who also passed away in 2023. Chaim Topol from the famous film Fiddler on the Roof left us as well; "If I was a rich man" was almost like Topol's singing catchphrase, and Eamonn Andrews had once shown his Big Red Book on This is Your Life, in, I think, the early 1980s . Brigit Forsyth of Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads fame died aged 83 (her name on paper almost looks like Bruce Forsyth at first glance). Comedian Andy Smart died aged 63, and Tony Allen died aged 78.

Strictly Len Goodman was a "good man" indeed, and he passed away aged 78. His associations with Strictly Come Dancing made him a Saturday night institution in the 2000s and 2010s, and as a radio presenter, he even occasionally sat in for the late Paul O'Grady in the "Charlie Chester" slot on BBC Radio 2. We did lose a few impersonators this year as well - O'Grady being one of them; he had passed away in 2023 just before he was offered a show on Greatest Hits Radio; his female alter-ego Lily Savage was a familiar sight, even presenting Blankety Blank which moved to ITV for the first time. He was even referred to as "Paul Savage" in the credits after appearing in The Bill. Sadly, it was a bad year for performers of drag artistes, for Dame Edna's counterpart had departed as well. Indeed, we had lost both Paul O'Grady and Barry Humphries, both of them famous for impersonating female characters, while Mike Yarwood, someone who could impersonate plenty of celebrities but couldn't really do the female ones, in fact, he had difficulty even impersonate Margaret Thatcher when 1979 came around; he had, passed away as well. Tina Turner, another target for the male comedians such as Bobby Davro, was indeed The Best and she left us. O'Grady voiceover a 1990s advertisement in which Mystic Meg appeared in; Meg also died in 2023, and her niche was telling us our horoscopes, giving us Messages Beyond the Grave, and when the National Lottery began in 1994, a new arc of her career of predicting the numbers, incorporating it into her Sunday magazine page. Another Meg who had passed away in 2023 was the former Coronation Street cast member Meg Johnson. Other Street stars who died include Barbara Young; Anita Carey (who I saw in the late 1990s in Who's Afraid in Virginia Wolf? at the Nottingham Playhouse); and Steve Halliwell all passed away, while screenwriter John Stevenson died aged 86. Rosalynn Carter, the former First Lady of President Jimmy Carter (who was in White House on the day I was born) passed away, but the former President is still with us in his 99th year as I write this.

Quite a few singers left us: Roger Whittaker didn't just leave Durham Town but he actually left us altogether in September; Vince Hill, famous for singing Edelweiss and walking down Gas Street in Birmingham for Central's sub-Pebble Mill series from 1988, died aged 89. Tony Bennett (or Tony Benn as quite often the HMV barcode sticker covered up the last three letters of his surname) passed away as well. Paul Cattermole of SClub7 fame, died aged 46. Jane Birkin, who put 1969 on the music map, died aged 76. Joe Fagin of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet theme tune fame, died aged 83. And Annie Hart died aged 90. Sinead O'Connor left us at the age of 56; such a great talent lost as such a relatively young age. Shane McGowan from the Pogues died aged 65, and as it is that time of year, we now know that Fairytale of New York was pipped to the post by Last Christmas. Richard Kerr, who wrote Mandy (formerly Brandy) for Barry Manilow, died aged 78. Linda Lewis who had a dabble in the 1970s disco charts died in May aged 72. Mary Quant's life wasn't as short as the skirts that she made fashionable in the 1960s, but she did live to be 93. Judith Miller was an antiques expert who made it to just 71. Kate Saunders appeared on the very first edition of Have I Got News for You in 1990, and had reached the age of 62. And for those viewers who received HTV Wales, Nicola Heywood-Thomas died aged 67. And many others have passed away as well.

It was that kind of year to be honest. I suppose we can do better next year... Now it is time to retire 2023 and focus on 2024 where we will almost certainly have a General Election. The big question for 2024 is, will it be Sir Keir Starmer who be the new 10 Downing Street incumbent by the time we reach December 2024? We shall have to wait and see. Come on Mr Sunak, please tell us the exact date of when the 2024 General Election will be! (I know it will take place in 2024). Please put us out of our misery!