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Thread: Christmas When You Were Growing Up

  1. #221
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    Default Re: Christmas When You Were Growing Up

    Quote Originally Posted by Zincubus View Post
    I don't think there's a need for him to apologise in this instance.. he's already explained that he meant no malice towards you and he was 'joshing' ( joking / jesting ) .
    Sometimes it is not as transparent as that - I know that even I have made a joke about something and the other person takes it too seriously or ignores the irony of it.

    People are different at the end of the day, and can take things completely differently. Having said that, I am prepared to draw a line under this.
    I am now in my 40s (just in case anyone asks).

  2. #222
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    Default Re: Christmas When You Were Growing Up

    Quote Originally Posted by George 1978 View Post
    Sometimes it is not as transparent as that - I know that even I have made a joke about something and the other person takes it too seriously or ignores the irony of it.

    People are different at the end of the day, and can take things completely differently. Having said that, I am prepared to draw a line under this.
    Thing is George ... this forum is probably the safest , friendliest forum on the internet . I have had some very unpleasant experiences on other forums over the years .

    When I saw his initial comment - due to my experience and experiences elsewhere I realised he was joking and it WAS a funny thing to say , ideal wording AND timing .

    Then ... I wondered for a moment if he was unaware of your Aspergers and his comment wasn't a joke , that's when I posted .

    What I'm trying to say is that it may be better for you to chose with great care ..which forums you visit in the future ..

    Regards


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  3. #223
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    Default Re: Christmas When You Were Growing Up

    That is one of the reasons why I joined here - when talking about our memories of the past, we talk from personal experience and as a result, no one can really argue about that, unless we talk about general memories that others might remember more clearly than ourselves - I don't mind being put right in that respect, especially if the other person happens to be a lot older and therefore remembers something a lot more clearer from the past.

    The irony is that if it had been addressed to another person, I would have thought of it in a more humorous way, but as it was aimed at myself, I obviously took it a lot more seriously. When I was at school I worked hard in most subjects, but then again I thought that I would be a target for bullies as a result, and I suppose it is a bit like that - I thought of being a clone of the next person was the best way of fitting in - after all, I wore the same uniform during Years 7 to 11.

    I think that the problem is that as a member of this forum I hardly know anyone personally for obvious reasons, and so any comment can be taken a bit "out of bounds" if you know what I mean. In the mid 2000s I was a member of Digital Spy and I left after nearly a year because I felt as if I was "drowning" within the community of the forums - I knew that I made a mistake joining up and that things were getting out of my depth. It's the same with those who leave Twitter and Facebook, and even I have taken long term leave from both as a result of various things that have happened.

  4. #224
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    Default Re: Christmas When You Were Growing Up

    Quote Originally Posted by George 1978 View Post
    That is one of the reasons why I joined here - when talking about our memories of the past, we talk from personal experience and as a result, no one can really argue about that, unless we talk about general memories that others might remember more clearly than ourselves - I don't mind being put right in that respect, especially if the other person happens to be a lot older and therefore remembers something a lot more clearer from the past.

    The irony is that if it had been addressed to another person, I would have thought of it in a more humorous way, but as it was aimed at myself, I obviously took it a lot more seriously. When I was at school I worked hard in most subjects, but then again I thought that I would be a target for bullies as a result, and I suppose it is a bit like that - I thought of being a clone of the next person was the best way of fitting in - after all, I wore the same uniform during Years 7 to 11.

    I think that the problem is that as a member of this forum I hardly know anyone personally for obvious reasons, and so any comment can be taken a bit "out of bounds" if you know what I mean. In the mid 2000s I was a member of Digital Spy and I left after nearly a year because I felt as if I was "drowning" within the community of the forums - I knew that I made a mistake joining up and that things were getting out of my depth. It's the same with those who leave Twitter and Facebook, and even I have taken long term leave from both as a result of various things that have happened.
    We are sooooo similar

    I am still with DigitalSpy as it's so varied and soooo busy and bustling. I have to be very , very careful in some sections though.. I've lost count of the short term bans I've had from defending my opinions in the very dangerous 'football' section !!

    Do you use the rather fabulous free app called Tapatalk ?
    It's specially/ specifically for people who peruse forums !!


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  5. #225
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    Default Re: Christmas When You Were Growing Up

    I don't think I have ever used Tapatalk - to be honest, I am a stranger to my own mobile phone. I am very old-fashioned when it comes to technology.

    I have joined probably 10 different forums over the past 15 years or so, and I am pleased to say that I have never been banned from any of them. On some, I only post around 25 times and then I go away and come back after a year or so, while others such as this one, I post over 1,000 times.
    I am now in my 40s (just in case anyone asks).

  6. #226
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    Default Re: Christmas When You Were Growing Up

    Quote Originally Posted by George 1978 View Post
    I just copied the dates from the Royal Mail website, so I don't know why you had mentioned that in response - to tell you the truth, I thought that what I posted was useful rather amusing.

    I am disappointed that you didn't choose your words more wisely - I don't like the fact that someone who I hardly know says something like that about myself, now that is scary to someone like myself. You have to remember that members come in all shapes and sizes and I know that I don't know anyone personally enough to say things that could upset them - I don't know how sensitive you are for example, mostly because I don't pry into the private lives of people, but I wouldn't go up to a person walking down the street and say that they are scaring me - life doesn't work like that.

    I shall regard your response as an apology as long as you remember to think about other people before you say something about them - it has got nothing to do with being guilty, it is just about being courteous. Just remember that although we are all different, some of us are a bit more different than others. Sometimes apologising is not about being guilty, but to make amends on something that has happened.

    Usually any points I make on this forum, ironic or not, I get straight to the point and so most of the time I don't need to put a Smiley on, but sometimes I do. The difference between someone laughing with someone else and someone laughing at them can make a huge bit of difference, as to whether they are on the same side or whatever.

    I do have the condition (I was diagnosed at the age of 18), and sometimes it's a good thing that people understand while at other times it can be a bad thing. I see it in a similar way to racism or sexism - no one deserves to be discriminated, harassed or distressed just because there happens to be something different about them. I just think that everyone should be treated equally at the end of the day.

    I am prepared to forget it completely.
    You regard my response as an apology? but i already said i have nothing to apologise for so please dont. You also say you dont pry into peoples private lives but you are happy to spell out everything you have endured during your own lifetime. George i like you a lot but you do risk losing any empathy you may have if you persist with the character assasination you are bestowing on me.You have compared my words to those of a racist and at the same time confessed to sometimes misunderstanding the context of an innocent remark, now that's irony in its true sense.
    ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE NEXT HALF HOUR.

  7. #227
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    Default Re: Christmas When You Were Growing Up

    Quote Originally Posted by tex View Post
    You regard my response as an apology? but i already said i have nothing to apologise for so please dont. You also say you dont pry into peoples private lives but you are happy to spell out everything you have endured during your own lifetime. George i like you a lot but you do risk losing any empathy you may have if you persist with the character assasination you are bestowing on me.You have compared my words to those of a racist and at the same time confessed to sometimes misunderstanding the context of an innocent remark, now that's irony in its true sense.
    I try and respect people whoever they are, especially if they are those who I don't really know such as members of this forum. Fair enough, I am not very thick skinned when it comes to taking criticism, and I do get alarmed when someone aims some remark at myself - please note that it is not a personal remark to yourself, Tex, but it is referring to lots of people I have known from the past. I am almost certain that a lot people would react in the same way, not just myself. I probably overreacted as a result, but what I am saying is that I cannot imagine myself using those words against another DYR member.

    Also, the objective of this forum is to talk about memories from the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, and that can mean talking about ourselves in detail when it comes to what we remember - at least I don't pry into the affairs of other members as I know that would be out of bounds for myself as a member. I am certain that anyone on here would feel uncomfortable if I went too personal on them whatever the situation was.

    I have been accused of racism many years ago when at school (I took the advice of a family member - a long story) and it wasn't nice, but the problem is that a lot of people these days are a lot more sensitive and can be offended by various things around them - the laws of the land have been more stricter and tightened up in recent years. Even I often think of things being "political correctness gone mad" when I hear or read about things in the news. Things do blow out of proportion, and people do literally take things the wrong way.

    People such as myself often take things too literally, and sometimes it can look alarming at first glance - as I said before, if the remark was addressed to someone else I wouldn't think much of it, and perhaps I would even get the irony of what was being said. I probably overreacted for a good reason, but others might have took it differently, perhaps more positively. I do find it very easy to be uncomfortable about what people say - OK, it is my problem and I have to live with it, but as I said before, everyone is different. I took the remark the wrong way, fair enough but I am sure that you understand the reason why.

    Now, as we are nearly in the season of wrapping things up (and as a way of getting back on topic in this thread), I think that we should wrap this up once and for all, and get on with being members of this forum. Life is far too short for quarrelling.
    I am now in my 40s (just in case anyone asks).

  8. #228
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    Default Re: Christmas When You Were Growing Up

    As long as you admit i was right....JUST KIDDIN! (Honestly)
    ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE NEXT HALF HOUR.

  9. #229
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    Default Re: Christmas When You Were Growing Up

    Quote Originally Posted by tex View Post
    As long as you admit i was right....JUST KIDDIN! (Honestly)
    There are no right or wrong answers.

    I think we should both take a deep breath and count to ten.
    I am now in my 40s (just in case anyone asks).

  10. #230
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    Default Re: Christmas When You Were Growing Up

    Quote Originally Posted by tex View Post
    As long as you admit i was right....JUST KIDDIN! (Honestly)
    I actually expected you to say something like that .. to diffuse the situation

    The only thing I can suggest to anyone and everyone making jokes or generally messing around is to add a smiley on at the end !?!!




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