Tell us a joke

[Aidan]

A couple are in a restaurant when a duck approaches their table, gives the lady a dozen red roses and tells her that her eyes are sparkling like the stars.
Her partner says:
-"Waiter ! I told you we wanted aromatic duck !"

[David]

Ever tried chicken tarka? Its a bit like chicken tikka but a little otter

[David]

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says,
-"We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump. At least one of you will survive."
The four open the door and look out below.
The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers, "God Save The Queen," and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers, "Viva La France," and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers, "Remember the Alamo," and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.

[SpiralCoolStuff]

What do you call a daleks italian cousin? A Galek!

[gturner200561]

What do you call a drunken Italian Steeple jack ?

A Hi tiddly Hi Tie

[Fifi62]

Mary had a little lamb
The doctor was surprised
Old Macdonald had a farm
The doctor nearly died!

[boop77]

whats silent and smells of worms?

birds farts

[Baz]

Knock knock ... who's there? ....Doctor ...

oh i'm not even going to bother finishing that one!!!

[Aidan]

Or the man who was so mean, he soundproofed his house so his kids couldn't hear the ice-cream van ?

[JBDJ]

Knock Knock........
Who's there?

Avon - your doorbell is knackered!!!!!!


Har Har Har

[JBDJ]

Mary Mary quite contrary - shave your legs, their too damn hairy!!


OK OK - i'll get ma coat!!!

[dondons69]

is everyone high ?

[dondons69]

Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly. When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery.

A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said: "I'm so sorry for your loss, You must feel terrible". Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said: "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled horrible.

She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and smelled . But they wanted her anyway.

The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle......." The old woman fainted

[JBDJ]

Why did the Bird Sanctuary have no pain killers??

Coz the Parrots Ate Em All (paracetemol)

boom boom

[Aidan]

The King Potato had three daughters and he was anxious that they marry into royalty. One day one of the Potato Princesses came home & told him :
-"Daddy, I want to get married!"
-"To whom?", said King Potato.
-"To the Prince Potato of Wales."
-"Good, I give you my blessing."
Then another daughter came home & said:
-"Daddy, I want to get married!"
-"To whom?", said King Potato.
-"To the Duke Potato of York."
-"Good, I give you my blessing."
Then the last daughter came home & said :
-"Daddy, I want to get married!"
-"To whom?", said King Potato.
-"To Clive Tyldseley."
-"Sorry, I forbid it."
-"Why?"
-"Because he's only a common-tater."