Embarrassing posh dinner table moments

[Trickyvee]

Most people first encounter the posh dinner table and all its silly rules and nonsense sometime during their childhood. As if not knowing which cutlery and glasses to use is bad enough, there's a bread bun on both sides to fox you and all this funny looking food with funny names.

At 12 I came face to face with an unshelled prawn for the first time and didn't know what to do so I shoved the whole thing in my mouth, head and all. I was so embarrassed as I attempted to crunch my way through it as the rest of the table quietly peeled.

At 14 I saw lemon sorbet was the first thing on a wedding menu. I had no idea what that was and proceeded to tuck into the butter pot. Well, I'd only had marg out of a plastic container before and this was all yellow and smoothed down in a fancy crockery thing. It looked like it might be sorbet to me!

[Richard1978]

Re: Embarrassing posh dinner table moments

At least you didn't drink the contents of a finger bowl thinking it was soup!

I can't think of too many myself but I can think of some other people have told me:

A friend to school was once opening a container of ketchup (like the ones you get single portions of jam in) by poking a fork though the top, this had the effect of sending a jet of ketchup over the table.

When my Dad whet to America on a business trip someone he went with nearly poured raw waffle batter onto his breakfast thinking it was a sauce.

One I actually witnessed was my Mum clearing a lot of scraps onto my Dad's plate while he was still eating, which me & my brother found highly amusing.

[darren]

Re: Embarrassing posh dinner table moments

when i was 10 i went to my uncles which could seat 10 people.

firstly i burped then i passed wind which gave me a very red face.
and when i tried to leave the table i was told to ask can i be excused.

a nerve wrecking experience. being that young and not undestanding it all.

[ClaudineJones]

Re: Embarrassing posh dinner table moments

I heard of someone who ate avocado skin because he didn't know if he should or not. Had a friend who tried to tuck into a rolled brown facecloth for wiping hands on in a very posh Chinese restaurant exclaiming "Christmas pudding in July!" I think my favourite was a friend who stabbed at her raspberry Pavlova with a spoon (back in the days when merangues were proper merangues - hard all the way through, not the squidgy stuff that passes for merangue now) and it shot across the room and exploded in the middle of the dance floor.

[Richard1978]

Re: Embarrassing posh dinner table moments

My Mum buys those merangues (from M&S I think) that have the consistancy of plaster casts.

Even with a pastry fork they are hard to eat without bits randomly flying off onto the table.

Eating pasta with a lot of sauce is also tricky to just get into your mouth with splashes of sauce getting in places they shouldn't

Often at dinner parties my parents serve all the veg in seperate dishes so people can help themselves, which often leads to something being dropped on the table.

It's an old joke about people eating cork table mats thinking they are high fibre biscuits.

[Trickyvee]

Re: Embarrassing posh dinner table moments

I was visiting a boyfriend's family for the first time one summer and wasn't told by the BF that they had a rule where by if there was a salad at the table they would all have the salad on its own first, rather than putting it on the plate with the rest of the meal (weird 'rule' I've never come across since). They all looked at me like I'd just farted when I proceeded to pile salad AND chicken onto my plate! That particular boyfriend used to eat with his knife and fork in the wrong hands too which wound me up no end. No wonder we split up!