The influence of school and its impact on an adult's life

[George 1978]

How are you all? I am fine, apart from the frequent panic attack. Anyway...

I have to admit that I do feel very bitter about my own school days and, as I have said before, wished that my parents were more middle-class, and were more "pushy". Living in an inner-city area and attending a sink comprehensive school was no inspiration at all Despite my problems and difficulties, I felt that I was talented and was never allowed to express that talent - I was afraid that I was going to picked on if I showed my talents through doing work well. I did subjects like Drama for GCSE and an incident outside school had put me off going inside school - hence my "school refusal". I would probably have gone to college to study various subjects or go on a training course (or even university?), but being in a room with so many young people just three months after hanging up my school uniform had reminded me too much of school and getting that de ja vu feeling.

What I am saying is that attending school should not make young people feel like that - if anything, school should influence and inspire a future career in a positive way, although it discouraged me. I know that I will never become a future Prime Minister or Archbishop of Canterbury but I would have liked to have done something that I would enjoy doing and having more money in my bank account. Sometimes I could scream my head off with frustration.

The fact that I was failed was an indication back then that school failed me - it may have been the Education Reform Act 1988 which was responsible for the reform of education in my day, but the irony was that there had not been enough reform in order for me to be put onto my journey of adult life. I went to a training place and they got the wrong end of the stick. I am a good writer and my GCSE English Language should have been above average, but due to problems at home and at school back in the early 1990s that side of things, but then again I did live in an overcrowded house for the start of the 1992-1993 academic year which meant that I could not focus on homework properly. I know that I did well on a Biology examination which is ironic considering my personal difficulties.

I do feel bitter and I do feel angry to this day - the fact that I could not get on with my peer group meant that my life was messed up even now, and my parents were of the wrong generation to provide proper support to me. I do feel that "influence" had stemmed from one's own upbringing - the fact that my parents (who are both no longer with us) were from the generation prior to most parents of my peer group - more like grandparents' ages. I wanted them to move to another area so that I could put my past behind me and move on, but come my mid 30s I was still in the same area as I was as a child. I hated that "stuck record" routine of life. And just after I became an adult I was diagnosed with one or two various things, and in later years, I would add stress anxiety and panic attacks to the list. I do blame lots of people such as my own family and peer group, and in many ways, I feel that I cannot help it.

My nephew (and his parents of course) had moved twice before the age of eight (the first time when he was six months old), and I think that he really benefited from it - he went to a good suburban primary school and even played Joseph in the school's nativity play one year. He went to one of the private grand-maintained academies and did quite well as a result. He had a part in a TV drama when he was 11 years old, and now he is in his 20s, he has a job as a radio presenter, ironically some of the things that I wanted to be myself when I grew up. One cannot help being jealous or even have slight hatred for him because he had got what I actually wanted and was seemed to have been taken away from me. Both his parents are, of course, still alive. I have been thinking about that quite a lot over the past few weeks, and also by watching lots of episodes from guest actors in a TV drama series. Now I do wish I could turn the clock back 25 years and do a Take Two, but on the other hand, the same could have happened again. In a nutshell, I would have liked to have been like him, career-wise.

I am especially bitter due to my problems - for more than half my life I have lived on my own with no family because my social skills have gone to put since being bullied at school - no wife and kids, and I want to meet a nice woman, get married and have a family of my own, because Article 12 of the Human Rights Act 1998 says that I am entitled to do so. Ironically, this isolation that I have and not much contact with people can protect me from the COVID situation a bit more than it would to others. My parents were poor and I am not to blame for that, but I hated the Education Welfare Officer for forcing me into the lion's cage after an incident coming home from school.

However, since then, I would love to use my talents such as writing and all that - I was nearly published after a project that I was doing, but I had to abandon it due to the cost. I did a few portfolios with various photography companies, but it's a pity that I couldn't make a career out of it. I could even give Rory Bremner a run for his money when it comes to impressions that I do, but alas, there will be no platform for me. I was always given the indication that if you're talented, then you're showing off, and if you show off, you're showing up. Apart from that, in real life I am myself and I am not anyone else, and I cannot be anyone else even if I tried.

As a footnote, I do feel that the type of education that someone receives can often determine whether they will "make or break" their life later on. I felt that I went to the wrong school for my needs and desires, and I suffered as a result. Two wrongs don't make a right when it comes to someone who already has problems and coming from an area where failure is inevitable. It stinks at the end of the day.

[darren]

Well at skool i was a loner my skool life was a total nightmare from the day i started to the day i happilly finished. Be it from other pupils to teachers as well.

Never have had any real friends but never really needed them.

Im happy on my own i go where i want do what i want be it mountain hiking be it travelling all over the island of ireland.

I do feel a bit annoyed that a lot of my teachers never understood me,
why when they left the class i did so too.

As soon as they did i felt huge anxiety for what the bullies would do to me and did do.
I myself have no wife or kids.

Im sorry ur publishing career didnt work out george.

I do feel if you had been at skool in the last 20 yrs things would have been better for u.

Sorry for all the bullying you and 80's chave suffered.

[Arran]

This is a very good question.

I strongly believe that one's childhood, including their experience at school, has a prominent impact on their life as an adult, but it's not a subject that seems to be all that well researched - at least from a British perspective. I think the demographics of the school matter just as much as the curriculum and the academic side. Good and bad teachers can result in make or break for individual students.

You are from a generation before me. An era before the National Curriculum when there was a lot of inconsistency in schools and invariable standards.

As for the writing, why didn't you start publishing work on the internet with your own website or blog at a younger age if nobody else was interested in it? Somebody might have spotted your talent!

[Arran]

I'm still trying to work out exactly what George wanted out of school, and more importantly, what his parents wanted out of school.

Moving to a school in a middle class suburb is not a magic wand that will solve all the problems of previously attending an inner city sink school. If kids lack cultural capital then they will be picked on and bullied day in day out. Even over issues like wearing cheap no-name trainers or parents driving a tatty old car and never going out for meals in restaurants.

I get the impression that George had A-hole parents who were old fashioned, out of date, out of touch, and narrow minded individuals with no real vision for the future. This probably caused more problems than school did directly.

[DemetriusVVV]

This is a very good question.

I strongly believe that one's childhood, including their experience at school, has a prominent impact on their life as an adult, but it's not a subject that seems to be all that well researched - at least from a British perspective. I think the demographics of the school matter just as much as the curriculum and the academic side. Good and bad teachers can result in make or break for individual students. Technical solutions like Proctoredu are also very important.

You are from a generation before me. An era before the National Curriculum when there was a lot of inconsistency in schools and invariable standards.

As for the writing, why didn't you start publishing work on the internet with your own website or blog at a younger age if nobody else was interested in it? Somebody might have spotted your talent!

What has a bigger impact on a kid: environment (parents, friends, relatives etc) or knowledge got at school? What do you think? Just wonder.

[Arran]

A friend told me how he knew a kid from college who had learned a lot about chemistry at primary school (before the National Curriculum) because of a teacher with a chemistry degree. His class had learned about half of the KS3 material by the end of Y6. After college he took a degree in chemistry. Therefore one can probably conclude that if a subject is taught well at school and the students enjoy it then they are more likely to want to study the subject in higher education.

In contrast, the friend attended a primary school that hardly taught science outside of themed topics, and chemistry was the least taught of the sciences, although he studied chemistry at A Level.

[George 1978]

I'm still trying to work out exactly what George wanted out of school, and more importantly, what his parents wanted out of school.

There is always this stereotype that school is supposed to make you into a better citizen of tomorrow - well, it failed me for a number of reasons.

You know when you were a kid and people ask you: "what do you want to be when you grow up?" It's a bit like that. But how many people actually do the jobs as an adult that they wanted to be when they grew up? Are we influenced enough as young people?

To be honest, I had parents who more or less couldn't give a damn - I wanted to move to a better area, and they wanted to stay put for example. What I felt was that living in the same environment as I grew up in. I lived in the same house from birth to my mid 30s, while one of my nephews moved when he was six months old - I do feel cheated. My point is that if I just had a change of scenery from a living perspective, then perhaps it would have made all the difference.

I would love to be a professional writer, (or indeed get some claim to fame from what I want to do), but there is more to it than writing something and getting it to a publisher - the costs and everything else. I nearly got something published a few years ago but the heavy costs made me cancel it. In a nutshell, there is always obstacles in the way of what we want to do in life and at times, it isn't fair.

Mind you, for the first time in my life now, I can easily say that will now be older than the Prime Minister. I am already older than my MP since the 2019 General Election. This is why I am glad that Sunak won in a way.

[George 1978]

What has a bigger impact on a kid: environment (parents, friends, relatives etc) or knowledge got at school? What do you think? Just wonder.

Good question - friends are more likely to be the same age as themselves, so I would say that.

[Arran]

There is always this stereotype that school is supposed to make you into a better citizen of tomorrow - well, it failed me for a number of reasons.

That's because it isn't!

I would be interested to know of any serious criminals who were entirely homeschooled.

You know when you were a kid and people ask you: "what do you want to be when you grow up?" It's a bit like that. But how many people actually do the jobs as an adult that they wanted to be when they grew up? Are we influenced enough as young people?

I would have loved to study computer science at school. When I was at school they only offered that crummy ICT that was a complete waste of time after Y3. Anybody who wanted to study computer science back then would have been seen as very strange to say the least even though it's highly relevant to the real world, and something you can make a good career of. I even quoted that more school leavers since 1980 have become computer programmers than professional sportsmen, so why are schools so obsessed with teaching sports but programming isn't part of the curriculum?!

Sometimes I think that state schools are a lethargic elephant that can't keep up with changes in the real world and society.

My point is that if I just had a change of scenery from a living perspective, then perhaps it would have made all the difference.

Questionable. They always say you can take the Brummie out of Birmingham, but you can't take the Birmingham out of a Brummie.

I would love to be a professional writer, (or indeed get some claim to fame from what I want to do), but there is more to it than writing something and getting it to a publisher - the costs and everything else. I nearly got something published a few years ago but the heavy costs made me cancel it.

I previously mentioned that you should have self published your writing with your own website or blog at a younger age if nobody else was interested.

[George 1978]

That's because it isn't!

I would be interested to know of any serious criminals who were entirely homeschooled.

There are some people who went to the schools that I went to and got "careers" in crime. No one has linked homeschooling with crime, as far as I know. The Education Otherwise website might be useful for you to look at.

I would have loved to study computer science at school.

I was great on a computer at school, and it was nearly six years before I had one in my own home.

I previously mentioned that you should have self published your writing with your own website or blog at a younger age if nobody else was interested.

I only went online for the first time in 1999 when I was 21 - I do publish stuff online but not link it to anything.

[George 1978]

ANNENDUM: I started this thread as a way of helping people understand the difficulties and bitterness that I have had in the past, especially the school angle where my difficulties were more prominent. I am now concerned that it could be railroaded for some reason. I am not very good at taking criticism even if I am good at expressing myself in words.

As a result, I will step back from this thread and perhaps even from this forum for a few days at least.

[Arran]

ANNENDUM: I started this thread as a way of helping people understand the difficulties and bitterness that I have had in the past, especially the school angle where my difficulties were more prominent. I am now concerned that it could be railroaded for some reason. I am not very good at taking criticism even if I am good at expressing myself in words.

Is this thread supposed to be specifically about you or about the impact of school in general?

As for publishing things on the internet. 1999 was quite a long time ago and 21 is a young age for a professional writer. Had you started publishing back then it might have had more impact than in more recent time as the internet was far less 'populated' and there was still some novelty around new websites, especially British ones as much material on the internet back then was American.

I'm surprised it took you so long to go online. They definitely had public internet cafes in my locality in 1996 using minitower PCs with floppy drives, and the old version of Netscape running under Windows 95 which crashed all the time.

[Arran]

What has a bigger impact on a kid: environment (parents, friends, relatives etc) or knowledge got at school? What do you think? Just wonder.

It's definitely a combination of all of them.

I think that the people you encounter at school has more impact than the school curriculum. The culture and aspirations of one's fellow classmates also matter. If there clashes between them then it can make life very miserable.

The environment matters as well. Some children may love growing up in a deep rural area but others absolutely hate it. Same with inner London boroughs.

[Arran]

Something that really baffles me are parents who are very pro school but anti education. They want their children to attend school; they will not consider home education or alternative provisions - such as vocational courses at college instead of GCSEs; but they are not interested in their children excelling academically. In fact they often take action to deliberately hold back their children's academic attainment.

This mentality most commonly prevails amongst white British parents from lower socioeconomic groups along with black Caribbeans. It is uncommon amongst south Asians or black Africans.

There is a big question as to what exactly do parents with this mentality want out of school? Do they possibly misunderstand the purpose of school?

[George 1978]

As a footnote, I would say that personal experience is the best experience in life.