Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

[sf1378]

Re: Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

When the halls filled with pupils changing rooms in between lessons I used to draw long chalk lines on the walls at hip height as I walked along, the Head Master said that there was 'a phantom chalkline drawer' and 'they knew who he was'....Rubbish, they never found out WHOM it twas!!! lol.

[stockportyears]

Re: Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

Not me, but another kid this.

We had to remember the Ten Commandments in a religious studies test, and the teacher, who was a right fire-and-brimstone nutter, said to one lad 'You've got them all wrong!'. To which the lad replied 'I've got them all right, but not necessarily in the right order!'. So the teacher picked this lad up by the lapels and said 'so you think you're Eric Morecambe do you?'. At this point we're all laughing as we think the teacher's just going to slap his cheeks or something. But all of a sudden he started shaking the poor lad violently, and threw him to the floor, knocking over the lad's chair. The whole class went silent. We never heard from this lad in class again.

Which was a shame, as earlier that year, when the English teacher was looking for props for a play he was putting on with us, he asked if any of us had a scarf for one of the characters to wear. The play was set in the 19th century, so the teacher was bemused when our friend put his hand up and said "I've got a Police scarf." The teacher (who was in his 50s at least) asked "what, that has black and white checks on?" To which the lad replied quick as a flash "No, a drawing of Sting and Stewart Copeland." This teacher didn't even understand what we were laughing at.

I wish I'd been that witty at eleven.

[branny]

Re: Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

In Junior School I was re-enacting a scene from the previous nights Six Million Dollar Man using a window pole, slow motion and full sound effects, unaware that the Headmaster was stood behind me watching. He asked me what I was doing to which someone shouts "He thinks he's Steve Austin sir". His retort has stayed with me ever since - "Bionic twit".

My funniest moment from school though has been posted previously in another thread. It wasn't me but I was present. Two lads were having a bit of banter in the changing rooms after PE. One had a weight problem, the other a dental hygiene problem (his surname was Heywood - known as heybag to his mates). After a bit of sparring, the weighty one stars singing (to the tune of Adam Ant's Prince Charming) "Heybag, heybag, tube of toothpaste is nothing to be scared of". Cruel but hysterical at the time.

[darren]

Re: "Oh no"

If it makes you feel any better Marine Boy, in secondary school once I ran the whole length of the pitch in a hockey match with the ball unchallenged and scored a goal. I looked around for congrats, but was met with disdain because it was my own goal!

We also played crab football in our school.

u must have wondered why no one challenged you.
i bet u never heard the end f it..

[Trickyvee]

Re: "Oh no"

Crab football is new to me. Can't picture it being much fun I mean you can't move very fast doing a crab or see where you are going very well and I suspect most people fell over after a couple of minutes ???

[HG]

Re: "Oh no"

Crab football is new to me. Can't picture it being much fun I mean you can't move very fast doing a crab or see where you are going very well and I suspect most people fell over after a couple of minutes ???

In the crab football I knew you were sitting on the floor to begin with and you moved around using your rms and backside with the ball between your legs. It was played in the gym/sports hall rather than outside.

[Trickyvee]

Re: "Oh no"

I remember being picked to demonstrate the powers of the Van der Graff generator at school because I had the finest hair that would stick right out when electrically charged. I wasn't bothered about that though. What I was bothered about was being made to stand on a chair to do it when I was currently getting picked on for not having started shaving my legs! I knew nobody was going to be looking at the hairs on my head *CRINGE*

[Pinney68]

Re: "Oh no"

My reception teacher smacked me for seating on a bench instead of the floor. (They were allowed to do that in the 70's) I didn't like it much so I hit her back and my mum was called in and she was the one who got the telling off! She's never let me forget the embarrassment she suffered!!

[sf1378]

Re: "Oh no"

My Mum once said that when she was in school a girl suddenly farted really loudly and everyone laughed, the girl cried with embarassment and the teacher went ballistic - the girls then kept making fart noises at the girl in the playground, my Mum made the story all the more funny when she told it. There was another time when my Sister came home for lunch upset in the early 1980s from primary school....Mum found out Mr Saunders (who reminded me of the Teacher in Pink Floyds The Wall) slapped her on the arm from behind just for being sat on a desktop during breaktime....Mum took us back to school after lunch, we went back really late and she then took my sister to class, Mr Saunders was doing afternoon registration and was extremely polite to my Mum and Mum went ape with him in front of ALL the kids who found it dead funny....After that he was always polite to my sister as he actually got frightened of my Mum who was a right terror when she lost it....Mind you, Mum did have a point, my sister was only sat on a desk, not mucking around like Tarzan or something to warrant being slapped on the arm but the thing was when Saunders hit someone, it really really packed a punch....git.

[ann22]

Re: "Oh no"

I remember when I was in first class, the girl who sat beside me whispered that she'd seen my mother and brother passing by out the window. I pretended I needed to sharpen my pencil, got up and went over to the waste paper bin by the window to see if I could see them. I can't understand it but for some reason I totally forgot where I was...I started banging the window with my fists and roaring at the top of my lungs 'Mam! Mam! Martin(my brother) are you deaf???!!! Look up here - It's meeee!!' Then it suddenly dawned on me where I was! I nearly had a heart attack! I turned slowly around to see the whole class staring at me in disbelief, the teacher could barely speak with the shock...she just gasped and spluttered at me to 'sit down this minute!!'.........I was mortified!

[Snowy]

Re: "Oh no"

Hey great poem

[darren]

Re: "Oh no"

My reception teacher smacked me for seating on a bench instead of the floor. (They were allowed to do that in the 70's) I didn't like it much so I hit her back and my mum was called in and she was the one who got the telling off! She's never let me forget the embarrassment she suffered!!

you bad girl hitting the teacher.

Your poor mum.
I bet till this day its brought up.

Must say that is a bit harsh what the teacher did.

[Trickyvee]

Re: "Oh no"

This didn't happen to me but to one of my friends when we were about 15. She tripped over in P.E. and fell onto our male teacher who was standing nearby. She totally lost her balance and started grabbing at his jogging pants everywhere to try to break her fall. I remember feeling like I was watching the whole spectacle in slow motion as it was so embarrassing for her. Eventually she clattered to the floor with the teacher shocked and hitching up his half-pulled-down pants. The story still often crops up after a few drinks and she still goes beetroot with embarrassment today lol.

[scotchmist]

Re: "Oh no"

I remember one hot and humid afternoon in the summer of 1976 I was sitting in the class during an art lesson at Primary School feeling very nauseas. I was always a healthy kid and very rarely was sick or vomited so I couldn't quite work out what was happening to me. I remember my classmate and cousin approaching my desk with his latest artistic effort demanding my opinion of his work and I promptly vomited violently all over his painting and himself. The teacher showed me no sympathy, the old bat, and hurried me out of the class and pointed me in the general direction of the school toilets shouting words to the effect that I had done it on purpose! On returning to the class all the kids were running out of the room holding their noses and making gagging noises! I was mortified and was at the receiving end of a lecture from my teacher who was furious with me as there was a cleaners' strike on and she had to stay behind to clean up my mess!

[Trickyvee]

Re: "Oh no"

...and while we're on vomit, reminds me of the time in nursery when someone hurled all over the floor right in the doorway at home time. I can just remember seeing what seemed like a huge yellow tidal wave full of triangular bread crusts fly over the room and settle in a pool the size of lake Windermere at which point I burst into tears because I thought I'd never ever get out again!