Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

[Snowy]

Re: "Oh no"

Hey great poem

[ann22]

Re: "Oh no"

I remember when I was in first class, the girl who sat beside me whispered that she'd seen my mother and brother passing by out the window. I pretended I needed to sharpen my pencil, got up and went over to the waste paper bin by the window to see if I could see them. I can't understand it but for some reason I totally forgot where I was...I started banging the window with my fists and roaring at the top of my lungs 'Mam! Mam! Martin(my brother) are you deaf???!!! Look up here - It's meeee!!' Then it suddenly dawned on me where I was! I nearly had a heart attack! I turned slowly around to see the whole class staring at me in disbelief, the teacher could barely speak with the shock...she just gasped and spluttered at me to 'sit down this minute!!'.........I was mortified!

Re: "Oh no"

My Mum once said that when she was in school a girl suddenly farted really loudly and everyone laughed, the girl cried with embarassment and the teacher went ballistic - the girls then kept making fart noises at the girl in the playground, my Mum made the story all the more funny when she told it. There was another time when my Sister came home for lunch upset in the early 1980s from primary school....Mum found out Mr Saunders (who reminded me of the Teacher in Pink Floyds The Wall) slapped her on the arm from behind just for being sat on a desktop during breaktime....Mum took us back to school after lunch, we went back really late and she then took my sister to class, Mr Saunders was doing afternoon registration and was extremely polite to my Mum and Mum went ape with him in front of ALL the kids who found it dead funny....After that he was always polite to my sister as he actually got frightened of my Mum who was a right terror when she lost it....Mind you, Mum did have a point, my sister was only sat on a desk, not mucking around like Tarzan or something to warrant being slapped on the arm but the thing was when Saunders hit someone, it really really packed a punch....git.

[Pinney68]

Re: "Oh no"

My reception teacher smacked me for seating on a bench instead of the floor. (They were allowed to do that in the 70's) I didn't like it much so I hit her back and my mum was called in and she was the one who got the telling off! She's never let me forget the embarrassment she suffered!!

[Trickyvee]

Re: "Oh no"

I remember being picked to demonstrate the powers of the Van der Graff generator at school because I had the finest hair that would stick right out when electrically charged. I wasn't bothered about that though. What I was bothered about was being made to stand on a chair to do it when I was currently getting picked on for not having started shaving my legs! I knew nobody was going to be looking at the hairs on my head *CRINGE*

[HG]

Re: "Oh no"

Crab football is new to me. Can't picture it being much fun I mean you can't move very fast doing a crab or see where you are going very well and I suspect most people fell over after a couple of minutes ???

In the crab football I knew you were sitting on the floor to begin with and you moved around using your rms and backside with the ball between your legs. It was played in the gym/sports hall rather than outside.

[Trickyvee]

Re: "Oh no"

Crab football is new to me. Can't picture it being much fun I mean you can't move very fast doing a crab or see where you are going very well and I suspect most people fell over after a couple of minutes ???

[darren]

Re: "Oh no"

If it makes you feel any better Marine Boy, in secondary school once I ran the whole length of the pitch in a hockey match with the ball unchallenged and scored a goal. I looked around for congrats, but was met with disdain because it was my own goal!

We also played crab football in our school.

u must have wondered why no one challenged you.
i bet u never heard the end f it..

[branny]

Re: Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

In Junior School I was re-enacting a scene from the previous nights Six Million Dollar Man using a window pole, slow motion and full sound effects, unaware that the Headmaster was stood behind me watching. He asked me what I was doing to which someone shouts "He thinks he's Steve Austin sir". His retort has stayed with me ever since - "Bionic twit".

My funniest moment from school though has been posted previously in another thread. It wasn't me but I was present. Two lads were having a bit of banter in the changing rooms after PE. One had a weight problem, the other a dental hygiene problem (his surname was Heywood - known as heybag to his mates). After a bit of sparring, the weighty one stars singing (to the tune of Adam Ant's Prince Charming) "Heybag, heybag, tube of toothpaste is nothing to be scared of". Cruel but hysterical at the time.

[stockportyears]

Re: Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

Not me, but another kid this.

We had to remember the Ten Commandments in a religious studies test, and the teacher, who was a right fire-and-brimstone nutter, said to one lad 'You've got them all wrong!'. To which the lad replied 'I've got them all right, but not necessarily in the right order!'. So the teacher picked this lad up by the lapels and said 'so you think you're Eric Morecambe do you?'. At this point we're all laughing as we think the teacher's just going to slap his cheeks or something. But all of a sudden he started shaking the poor lad violently, and threw him to the floor, knocking over the lad's chair. The whole class went silent. We never heard from this lad in class again.

Which was a shame, as earlier that year, when the English teacher was looking for props for a play he was putting on with us, he asked if any of us had a scarf for one of the characters to wear. The play was set in the 19th century, so the teacher was bemused when our friend put his hand up and said "I've got a Police scarf." The teacher (who was in his 50s at least) asked "what, that has black and white checks on?" To which the lad replied quick as a flash "No, a drawing of Sting and Stewart Copeland." This teacher didn't even understand what we were laughing at.

I wish I'd been that witty at eleven.

Re: Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

When the halls filled with pupils changing rooms in between lessons I used to draw long chalk lines on the walls at hip height as I walked along, the Head Master said that there was 'a phantom chalkline drawer' and 'they knew who he was'....Rubbish, they never found out WHOM it twas!!! lol.

[stud1al]

Re: Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

My class was doing something for the assembly.
When it came to my turn to say something i burped instead .Couldn't help it
Even the teachers laughed at that.

[Richard1978]

Re: Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

I once managed to split some trousers at school & had to walk very stiff legged for the rest of the day to stop it from showing.

[darren]

Re: school dodginess...

not so much in terms of what i did.
more of funny things that happened to me.

the school trousers i wore only had a button and a few times my button came off and my trousers came down.
and i had to say miss will you sew my button back on.
strange thing is it always happened in home economics class.

i did not mind the trousers with the metal clip far better.
you girls where lucky you did not have one button skirts.
sometimes i brought string with me in case the button came off.

[Marine Boy]

Re: "Oh no"

Thanks kazboot. You have indeed made me feel better