My parents

[xmark1234]

Re: My parents

i try help my mum and dad as much as i can i treat them to weekends away cause they want go book it them selfs and going out for meals etc i carnt give them money for bills mine take some clearing but they always there to help out so i treat them again lol

[ann22]

Re: My parents

My nan brought me up after raising four of her own children, three of which she was left with when Grandad died of a lung condition contracted during the WWII when he was gassed. I tried hard to provide NAn with little luxuries every week once I started working..... half pound of real butter or a jar of Nescafe instead of Camp coffee... the things she loved but just could not afford. once she got wise to this and forbade me from doing it again.... she was a proud woman.... I resorted to making her hampers for her birthday, xmas and Easter. She couldnt get round this. This year on the 26th of November it will be twenty years exactly since i lost her and I would give my entire years wgaes and more to be able to have one more day with her. Your parents/ Grand-parents deserve your respect and support.

This is a lovely post, really moving.

[Biscuits]

Re: My parents

I'm fortunate that both my parents are still around and are both quite active... mum still works and still helps me out if I do overtime for example (my youngest is ten) but I know if ever they need me then I'm there for them both. It's a two way street.
I work as a home carer for the elderly and I'd say 2/3 of the people I visit have good contact with their children. Unfortunately 1/3 don't and I find that heartbreaking.

[themilkman]

Re: My parents

Parents are the most important thing in your life......the important thing is to be able to understand this before it's too late.

I had a rather more varied and unusual upbringing from most people of my age, but not in a bad way i hasten to add, and I was very fortunate to experience and see things that many children wouldn't have done, and that was all down to my parents who wanted to give my sisters and myself as good an upbringing as they could.
Unfortunately when we came back to England my mum was killed in a road accident which sent my dad over the edge so to speak.

I was 20 at the time and I had an older sister who'd already married and had left home, but a younger sister and myself still remained at home.
It hit my dad hard and he basically rejected us............he obviously regrets much what happened at the time but it still happened.

Nevertheless, i wish that i'd shown them as much love as they showed me when I were younger, when I was still able to.

[LittleBoo]

Re: My parents

As a child many see their parents as 'just there', as if they only have the title 'Mum and Dad'.
Also we get used to seeing them do it all, so it rarely dawns on a child to offer help.

It's only as we grow up and mature do we dawn that Mum and Dad are people in their own right, have a life too.
Also what I found was lovely is getting to know them as people, hearing what they did at school, through work etc, that opened my mind to wanting to know a lot more, and with all that I changed how I saw my parents.

I am so grateful that I still have my parents, as the relationship now we have, as we all are adults, is amazing.
But to hear many saying they have lost their parents before they actually got to really know them, is so very sad.

I would walk the earth to help them, because I know they sacrificed so much for me when I was growing up, they did without, but they won't do without any more, that's for sure.

Re: My parents

Its alright Daz. I think anyone whose lost a parent etc, when someone says 'I'm sorry to hear that' - your real reaction is 'such is life'. Which it is. My Mum certainly did a lot for her parents - she said of it, 'I couldn't leave them and not help them as they were my parents', I guess if you have good parents you do help them in old age. i regret not doing so much but moreover not being able to do as much financially as my life didn't pan out as I've wanted and it really angers me. My Dad did a lot for his Dad, even though he hated the old bugger. Truly. But, he said of it that he was his Father and I guess bloods thicker than water - shame my Grand Father didn't appreciate my Father so much - again, such is life eh?

Anyhow, on a random thought, anyone else surprised by how a lot of people think Bodie and Doyle were actually gay in The Professionals??? I've seen some very odd 'fan fiction' about it when I was looking for images for mock design packaging I recently did imagining Palitoy had made toy figures and vehicles of the characters... I was even more surprised to find out that some folk thought Regan and Carter were gay as well...ooh err missus...

[darren]

Re: My parents

im real sorry to hear this.

i will be thinking of you as this sad anniversary comes up in a few days.
im lucky both my parents are still alive and in there mid sixties.

i hope you do continue and go the graduation your parents will not be there but i do know they would be hugely proud of you.

If I could have my teenage years all over again I wouldn't have been a petulant, tempramental s--t to my Mum and Dad. I'd also have been more helpful and understanding. And sadly, I wasn't. Hindsights a 'wonderful' thing - no, its just life slapping sense into us when we're older, wiser and they've long left the planet. Many of you know my Mum died in 2005 aged 57, this then hit my Dad very hard and atop life just leaving him, he suffered from health complications - lung disease from years of smoking, spinal compression, and also undetected hyponaetremia (low sodium) causing psychosis and muddled thought. It was a difficult time for me as well having just lost my Mum to then see him crumble and in hindsight I wish I'd just dumped my then girlfriend and simply concentrated and coped more with Dad - he needed me. I was a home Carer to him, keeping the house tidy and him fed, if he fell ill getting him into hospital etc but he needed me more. I'm not being hard on myself I'm simply admitting that as a Son I failed him whereas he as a parent, in hindsight was brilliant. Same with my Mum. I've written about my Dad's extremely tough childhood and hardships and a lot of you admired his grit - he was a great man. I sometimes imagine what it would be like to have my parents and my Mum's parents around (they told me a lot about them and they sounded brilliant, and funny). Sometimes, I actually wish I could time travel back to the 1970's to see them in their prime...my Mum being my Mum would probably ask me why the hell I'd be staring at her...she was like that...

My parents used to say that I'd learn their value once they'd died - very, very true. All the posters here have practically said the same thing. I didn't get to say goodbye to either of them as they died and that hits me hard too. I wish I'd made something of my life when both of them were alive and while I am now retraining doing Graphic Communication at Uni it leaves a bitter, why bother sort of taste in my mouth - they aren't here and if I do continue they won't be there for the final year show of our work and to clap on my Graduation - so if I do continue, I may not bother with the exhibition nor attending the Graduation Ceremony - I admit, to see kids with their proud parents will, naturally get to me.

I constantly think about them - sometimes happy memories, other times anger at myself. Sometimes I dream of them, and its odd, its like they are just out of the periphery of my vision in my dreams that they are there. I remember after my Dad died, for 2 weeks I really felt his presence near me, walking beside me and in the house - then it was gone. It saddens me that if I ever married, I wouldn't have them around to see potential grand children...

There have often been times I wish my Father where here to ask 'what do I do?' regarding my current problems since he died...I know someone on here considers me some 'black souled cancer' etc and an 'emotional blackmailer of the forum' but I'm just articulating things a lot of us feel about parents gone.

In 3 days time it will be a year to the day (not the exact day as we've had Bank Hols etc) that he died and the dawning pain of it is encroaching.

Anyhow, I also agree, our generation and our parents and grandparents generations respected things more on the whole - the kids of today are worser as their parents don't hold nor have they experienced the wise nature of our parents / grandparents generations - no one really cares about the exploits of the War generation and the debt we all collectively owe them too.

I'm not religeous, not now. It left me once my Mum died. I was a Buddhist but I'd give my soul to The Devil if it brought back my parents...but that won't happen.

[Richard1978]

Re: My parents

I'm lucky to still have both my parents, though my Dad had quite a bad health scare last year.

I've normally got on with them well, though sometimes we've not seen eye-to-eye on certain issues. I can think of a few times I would like to wind back the clock to change something I did.

My cousins have had a rough time the last few years, with loosing their Mum to cancer, & their Dad living away from them.

Re: My parents

If I could have my teenage years all over again I wouldn't have been a petulant, tempramental s--t to my Mum and Dad. I'd also have been more helpful and understanding. And sadly, I wasn't. Hindsights a 'wonderful' thing - no, its just life slapping sense into us when we're older, wiser and they've long left the planet. Many of you know my Mum died in 2005 aged 57, this then hit my Dad very hard and atop life just leaving him, he suffered from health complications - lung disease from years of smoking, spinal compression, and also undetected hyponaetremia (low sodium) causing psychosis and muddled thought. It was a difficult time for me as well having just lost my Mum to then see him crumble and in hindsight I wish I'd just dumped my then girlfriend and simply concentrated and coped more with Dad - he needed me. I was a home Carer to him, keeping the house tidy and him fed, if he fell ill getting him into hospital etc but he needed me more. I'm not being hard on myself I'm simply admitting that as a Son I failed him whereas he as a parent, in hindsight was brilliant. Same with my Mum. I've written about my Dad's extremely tough childhood and hardships and a lot of you admired his grit - he was a great man. I sometimes imagine what it would be like to have my parents and my Mum's parents around (they told me a lot about them and they sounded brilliant, and funny). Sometimes, I actually wish I could time travel back to the 1970's to see them in their prime...my Mum being my Mum would probably ask me why the hell I'd be staring at her...she was like that...

My parents used to say that I'd learn their value once they'd died - very, very true. All the posters here have practically said the same thing. I didn't get to say goodbye to either of them as they died and that hits me hard too. I wish I'd made something of my life when both of them were alive and while I am now retraining doing Graphic Communication at Uni it leaves a bitter, why bother sort of taste in my mouth - they aren't here and if I do continue they won't be there for the final year show of our work and to clap on my Graduation - so if I do continue, I may not bother with the exhibition nor attending the Graduation Ceremony - I admit, to see kids with their proud parents will, naturally get to me.

I constantly think about them - sometimes happy memories, other times anger at myself. Sometimes I dream of them, and its odd, its like they are just out of the periphery of my vision in my dreams that they are there. I remember after my Dad died, for 2 weeks I really felt his presence near me, walking beside me and in the house - then it was gone. It saddens me that if I ever married, I wouldn't have them around to see potential grand children...

There have often been times I wish my Father where here to ask 'what do I do?' regarding my current problems since he died...I know someone on here considers me some 'black souled cancer' etc and an 'emotional blackmailer of the forum' but I'm just articulating things a lot of us feel about parents gone.

In 3 days time it will be a year to the day (not the exact day as we've had Bank Hols etc) that he died and the dawning pain of it is encroaching.

Anyhow, I also agree, our generation and our parents and grandparents generations respected things more on the whole - the kids of today are worser as their parents don't hold nor have they experienced the wise nature of our parents / grandparents generations - no one really cares about the exploits of the War generation and the debt we all collectively owe them too.

I'm not religeous, not now. It left me once my Mum died. I was a Buddhist but I'd give my soul to The Devil if it brought back my parents...but that won't happen.

[darren]

Re: My parents

Very sad to hear that emma and i really feel for you.

Thing you learn from your parents how to bring children up.
they are like role models.

you may have made strict rules but you did your very best considering everything you went through with you and your siblings bringing yourselves up dont be too tough on yourself.


and i respect you massively for that.

dont be to tough on yourself the main thing you cared for your kids where there for them and you did very best.
Im sure you mum did her best considering her depression which at that time had a worse stigma than it does now.

My parents were virtually non-existent! Dad was a commercial traveller as they were know then, and mum was very unstable mentally deficient type of person who suffered various types of depression and anxieties and spent most of her time in bed when she wasn't at some nursing home or another!
My 3 sister and brother and I sort of brought ourselves up and had no idea of what a proper household or family was supposed to be. With the result that my attempts at bringing up my 3 children lacked a good deal of affection but lots of strict rules, many of which I regret very much to this day. .. :cry:

[Emma34]

Re: My parents

My parents were virtually non-existent! Dad was a commercial traveller as they were know then, and mum was very unstable mentally deficient type of person who suffered various types of depression and anxieties and spent most of her time in bed when she wasn't at some nursing home or another!
My 3 sister and brother and I sort of brought ourselves up and had no idea of what a proper household or family was supposed to be. With the result that my attempts at bringing up my 3 children lacked a good deal of affection but lots of strict rules, many of which I regret very much to this day. .. :cry:

[darren]

Re: My parents

Thing is with kids of today, maybe the fault lies with the generations that's bringing them up???

yes thats got something to do with it as well H.

Some parents are not good parents.
but you are a model parent.

[Heather74]

Re: My parents

i do feel kids now have little respect for there parents.
im not saying its this way with all kids today.
but i feel when us thirty somethings and older where kids a bigger percentage of kids respected there parents than they do now.

Thing is with kids of today, maybe the fault lies with the generations that's bringing them up???

[darren]

Re: My parents

what i think is its good to help your parents out when they are are older.
it may only be doing simple things like making them a cup of tea or taking the washing out of the machine or helping them pay bills but they will not see it as a meaningless act.

parents spend their lives helping out there kids be the kids teens or in their thirties.

i do feel kids now have little respect for there parents.
im not saying its this way with all kids today.
but i feel when us thirty somethings and older where kids a bigger percentage of kids respected there parents than they do now.

[OrangeCremolaFoam]

Hi again Smee..

Thats excellent news..you did the right thing and I know you know that..nice one..;0) I agree with the comment regrading parents..one thing our generation still seems to hold dear is RESPECT...where respect is due....I used to work for the Museums Service here in Fife and specialised in Scotland during the Second World War..As part of my job i interviewed many Veterans, from all Services and Also Polish Paratroopers who landed at Arnhem and formed and trained in my home town here in Fife,in exile...What became very clear very quickly was the Debt we owe these brave men..even though they were in their 80's some of things they had seen and done were frankly so far removed from my life that they seemed unbelievable...they were all polite, courteous and very modest too....

My Grandfather seerved in World War 2 in the 1st Army,Scottish Infantry attached to the7th Armoured Division and served in North Africa, sicily, Italy and finally Greece..He took part in many major Battles and was wounded at Tobruk and also took part in the Liberation of Athens..he is my hero and well he should be..i have his 5 medals and he is not forgotten in my mind..I go to the War Memorial on Armistice Day just simply because he no longer can(he passed away many years back) and for the friends he lost in Battle...its the very least I can do...

Im sure many of you here feel the same about grandparents and what they did for our Freedom 60 years back..We should never forget...;0)

love and best wishes...

Rab ;0)

Fife
Scotland