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There are some things that happen to you as a kid on a fairly regular basis which are thankfully absent once you become a 'grown up'.
Here's my top ten in no particular order :
1) Splinters - play was always being halted whilst your mom removed yet another huge wooden splinter from your hand. They were usually 'acquired' whilst sword fighting with pieces of broken roll fence or making dens from old pallets. The worst ones were those that went in the web of skin between your thumb and index finger ouch! I am sure we've all been there...wincing while mother digs away with tweezers and a needle saying "keep still...or I'll never get it out"
2) Snorting Vimto - you know the thing....where you've just taken a mouthful of very fizzy pop only for your mate to make you laugh. That's a totally unique kind of sore throat you get from nasally projecting Vimto to the pavement!! I am sure it even finds it's way out of your eye sockets too
3) The Stitch - can't remember the last time I was doubled up with the dreaded stitch...then again I don't do much running around these days so hopefully it is a thing of the past for me.
4) Poked in the Eye - who can forget that horrible dull aching watery eye you get when some overexcited eejit accidentally sticks his finger in your eye whilst playing tick or some other playground game. What is slightly worse though is if their fingers go in your mouth....the culprit is always the kid whos been swinging on the rusty climbing frame two minutes earlier uurrghh!!
5) Slush Puppie Brain Freeze - people go on about Ice Cream headaches but the pain from a Slush Puppie is on another level altogether. It starts somewhere at the back of your nose and reaches down your throat and right into your lower back. You never learn though and go straight back to slurping as soon as the pain has gone
6) Roundabout Hell - you're happily playing on the roundabout (merry-go-round some people call em) when some bigger kid starts spinning it faster and faster. Although at age 7 you have no concept of the physics of centrifugal force, you just know that if you don't manage to fight your way to the centre you're gonna get launched...and hurt. Feeling dizzy sick for an hour after the big kid has got bored is a small price to pay.
7) Rowntree's Fruit Gum lockjaw - it's that frightening split second when you have bitten down on a fruit gum and it seems to have glued your upper and lower molars together with something stronger than superglue. Wine gums do it it too to a lesser degree.
8) Nettle Stings - desperately searching for a 'Dock leaf' cos you've just tripped and put your hand in a clump of stinging nettles. The ones on your inner forearm hurt most. Changing from Elephant man-esque disfiguring white painful lumps to itchy as hell pink rash over a period of hours before being forgotten....until next time!
9) Whats that Smell? - sorry to bring this one up but I am sure a lot of people have had this happen to them.
You're out playing with your bestest newest trainers on when you are aware of a distinctly nasty smell which is definately following you around.....yup that's it, your worst suspicion is true...Labrador poop all stuck in the chunky treads of your beloved pumps which will never quite be the same again....somebody find me a sharp stick and a puddle!
10) Can I have my ball back - you've kicked your mates ball over the garden fence of the one house everyone dreads...so YOU have got to go and get it back. Every street has one house inhabited by a miserable old git that hates you playing near his house and you just know when you go and knock on the door to ask for the ball you are gonna get a lecture and told "you won't get it back next time"! ...Meanwhile your mates have legged it to a safe distance and are peering behind a wall sniggering while you take the heat.
Ah ....those were the days
Here's my top ten in no particular order :
1) Splinters - play was always being halted whilst your mom removed yet another huge wooden splinter from your hand. They were usually 'acquired' whilst sword fighting with pieces of broken roll fence or making dens from old pallets. The worst ones were those that went in the web of skin between your thumb and index finger ouch! I am sure we've all been there...wincing while mother digs away with tweezers and a needle saying "keep still...or I'll never get it out"
2) Snorting Vimto - you know the thing....where you've just taken a mouthful of very fizzy pop only for your mate to make you laugh. That's a totally unique kind of sore throat you get from nasally projecting Vimto to the pavement!! I am sure it even finds it's way out of your eye sockets too
3) The Stitch - can't remember the last time I was doubled up with the dreaded stitch...then again I don't do much running around these days so hopefully it is a thing of the past for me.
4) Poked in the Eye - who can forget that horrible dull aching watery eye you get when some overexcited eejit accidentally sticks his finger in your eye whilst playing tick or some other playground game. What is slightly worse though is if their fingers go in your mouth....the culprit is always the kid whos been swinging on the rusty climbing frame two minutes earlier uurrghh!!
5) Slush Puppie Brain Freeze - people go on about Ice Cream headaches but the pain from a Slush Puppie is on another level altogether. It starts somewhere at the back of your nose and reaches down your throat and right into your lower back. You never learn though and go straight back to slurping as soon as the pain has gone
6) Roundabout Hell - you're happily playing on the roundabout (merry-go-round some people call em) when some bigger kid starts spinning it faster and faster. Although at age 7 you have no concept of the physics of centrifugal force, you just know that if you don't manage to fight your way to the centre you're gonna get launched...and hurt. Feeling dizzy sick for an hour after the big kid has got bored is a small price to pay.
7) Rowntree's Fruit Gum lockjaw - it's that frightening split second when you have bitten down on a fruit gum and it seems to have glued your upper and lower molars together with something stronger than superglue. Wine gums do it it too to a lesser degree.
8) Nettle Stings - desperately searching for a 'Dock leaf' cos you've just tripped and put your hand in a clump of stinging nettles. The ones on your inner forearm hurt most. Changing from Elephant man-esque disfiguring white painful lumps to itchy as hell pink rash over a period of hours before being forgotten....until next time!
9) Whats that Smell? - sorry to bring this one up but I am sure a lot of people have had this happen to them.
You're out playing with your bestest newest trainers on when you are aware of a distinctly nasty smell which is definately following you around.....yup that's it, your worst suspicion is true...Labrador poop all stuck in the chunky treads of your beloved pumps which will never quite be the same again....somebody find me a sharp stick and a puddle!
10) Can I have my ball back - you've kicked your mates ball over the garden fence of the one house everyone dreads...so YOU have got to go and get it back. Every street has one house inhabited by a miserable old git that hates you playing near his house and you just know when you go and knock on the door to ask for the ball you are gonna get a lecture and told "you won't get it back next time"! ...Meanwhile your mates have legged it to a safe distance and are peering behind a wall sniggering while you take the heat.
Ah ....those were the days
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