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Toilets are such personal objects; the thought of anyone you don't know using them can make one feel uncomfortable. Kenneth Williams always thought of his as too private, and even used the off clingfilm to protect it. Even until the age of four I don't ever remember using any other toilet except the one at home, complete with Mothercare toddler trainer seat (which I got so used to that I continued to use it for many years afterwards, even in double-figure ages until we had a new toilet bowl put in). It could have been another argument to be home-educated. So much so that there came a time when one had to start school, or more specific, the nursery department, and for the first time, when I needed to go, one couldn't go all the home (or indeed, I was so close to doing what the fifth little pig did all the way home if I was not careful). I was embarrassed and I did need assistance. Then again, we had a young lad a in our class a few years later who had Encopresis and had suffered bullying as a result of his difficulties; he needed a friend at playtime so I had volunteered to be that person until he left the school. I always went home for dinner, and it was a pity that I couldn't nip home to do my business considering that I just about lived within the catchment area of the school. But it wasn't allowed as it could have been seen as truancy; besides, I was too young.
I did happen to me on more than one occasion - I was embarrassed to put my hand up and tell Miss that I needed to go, or would she think that I was trying to get out of Maths or reading? Or indeed, it is not social etiquette to announce in public, one's bladder or bowel habits to someone one hardly knows personally or socially. Going into this strange room where others share and have used the facilities before me; it didn't smell too nice to be honest, and it did feel like a daunting experience to a five or six year old, not to mention the "urinate up the wall" contraption in the boys' toilets which washed themselves every other minute. The school kept clothes from Lost Property, and shall we say that they did come in useful when the odd "accident" happened in view of dampness. However, before I left the Infants I managed to overcome this mostly, I quickly nipped out; used the facilities and came back again before I was missed. I missed the comfortable Andrex-ness of the toilet paper used at home; (even Tesco's own-name brand toilet paper was a lot better than this), and I didn't want to use that Sheffield-made National Health Service toilet paper such as Izal, in its greenish form, not to mention the scratchy paper towels used before disposing them in the bin near the door. By the time Junior School arrives, things were sorted then regarding my problem, although the boys' toilets seemed to be an unofficial hiding place for doing various things other than what the room was actually there for. I do remember three of us were up in front of the Headteacher as a result of something which had happened in the boys' toilets one afternoon breaktime. That was another reason why I would have avoided the toilets as well.
When I did have difficulties with faecal soiling when I was nine years old, I avoided going to school on those days; I stayed at home and used the familiarity of the toilet which I knew and loved, and avoided any difficulties at school. It happened around three or four times prior to me leaving school, and no doubt that it was school anxiety, being bullied, or trying to avoid a certain subject, teacher or pupil which was the cause of my anxiety, and in turn, this led to my school refusal as well. It last happened the year I left school, and so therefore I knew that it was a school problem. But I never had the difficulty at school itself which had the comparison with the lad with Encopresis had, and I am relieved about that, and felt sorry for him. I know that school was to blame for my anxiety which had led to both the problems at Infant School and also what happened many years later. Teachers are supposed to be loco parentis, but they are not compensation for not having one's parents there; familiar adults to us as children from birth. Sometimes, one had to tackle the issue head on: a friend of mine had mentioned in his school memoirs had wanted to use the toilet before school started, but as it was before 8.30 am, the caretaker wouldn't unlock the doors, and so he so desperate that he urinated in the corner of the playground, and got in trouble as a result.
You know the stereotype which happened to be around comprehensive schools in the 1980s and 1990s; the threat of having one's head flushed down the toilet by the 5th Years - the unofficial Top Dogs of the School (aka Year 11s)? Thankfully, it didn't happen to me; I managed from the start of the day until lunchtime to "hold anything in" in those three and a half hours, almost in legs-crossed territory, (it could make the last lesson before lunch difficult to focus on properly). As soon as I arrived home, I went to the toilet before starting on lunch. No wonder "Gripper's Office" in Grange Hill back in 1982 just happened to be the boys' toilets; one place on site where anything goes, probably due to the fact that one needed privacy to do what we needed to do. Roland Browning got bullied in there because of course, it was the most "private" place on site. But what would have actually happened if a teacher had walked in, and someone was using the urinals at that moment? The shock of seeing someone like that at that very moment could... make someone wet themselves as they tried to make themselves respectable in record time before anyone actually notices? I personally think that part of the school toilet anxiety stems from bullying which could take place in the toilets, and even more, the so-called privacy of the toilet cubicles.
There are also the Jeremy Beadle-alike practical jokers; yes, some do put clingfilm over the bowl (but not quite, a la Kenneth Williams); yes, they do wet paper towels and throw them on the ceiling, (which was what the controversy all about as I mentioned a couple of paragraphs ago); and yes, they do fill balloons or whoopee cushions with water and throw them over the other side of the cubicle. Remember Deputy Head Maurice Bronson getting soaked in Grange Hill? Because the male staff toilets were closed, poor old Bronson had to use the boys' toilets instead; no doubt a controversial thing in hindsight, and that is one of the few places where one would see toilets in a drama series. Apart from male extras nipping into the gents in the Rovers Return and Prisoner: Cell Block H inmates working in the laundry announcing that they are "just going to the toot", is any wonder that we hardly even see characters go to the toilets in soaps and dramas? Even someone had written to a tabloid newspaper many years ago asking why soap characters never seem to go to the toilet. It's because they want privacy from the millions of views, that's why!
Many years later as an adult, if I am travelling on a National Express coach, the toilet hardly ever seems to work properly anyway; it only seems to work when the vehicle is in motion and one shakes like a jelly, it is so difficult to do one's business when that happens, and so one is crossed-legged again during the second-half of the journey. When the coach stops, the engine isn't running, and so the toilet won't work properly. I have no problem using public toilets when I am out and about and certainly no problem when using Premier Inn toilets as long as they are en suite bathrooms within the hotel room which I am staying in. Apart from that I have no problem if I need a Number One, although the Number Two situation can be a bit more delicate, and one prefers to be on familiar surroundings when that happens. Some toilets do feel like strangers to us, and they did say back then to say no to strangers, no matter who or what they were. At least, one can flush it away, depending on what it actually is.
I did happen to me on more than one occasion - I was embarrassed to put my hand up and tell Miss that I needed to go, or would she think that I was trying to get out of Maths or reading? Or indeed, it is not social etiquette to announce in public, one's bladder or bowel habits to someone one hardly knows personally or socially. Going into this strange room where others share and have used the facilities before me; it didn't smell too nice to be honest, and it did feel like a daunting experience to a five or six year old, not to mention the "urinate up the wall" contraption in the boys' toilets which washed themselves every other minute. The school kept clothes from Lost Property, and shall we say that they did come in useful when the odd "accident" happened in view of dampness. However, before I left the Infants I managed to overcome this mostly, I quickly nipped out; used the facilities and came back again before I was missed. I missed the comfortable Andrex-ness of the toilet paper used at home; (even Tesco's own-name brand toilet paper was a lot better than this), and I didn't want to use that Sheffield-made National Health Service toilet paper such as Izal, in its greenish form, not to mention the scratchy paper towels used before disposing them in the bin near the door. By the time Junior School arrives, things were sorted then regarding my problem, although the boys' toilets seemed to be an unofficial hiding place for doing various things other than what the room was actually there for. I do remember three of us were up in front of the Headteacher as a result of something which had happened in the boys' toilets one afternoon breaktime. That was another reason why I would have avoided the toilets as well.
When I did have difficulties with faecal soiling when I was nine years old, I avoided going to school on those days; I stayed at home and used the familiarity of the toilet which I knew and loved, and avoided any difficulties at school. It happened around three or four times prior to me leaving school, and no doubt that it was school anxiety, being bullied, or trying to avoid a certain subject, teacher or pupil which was the cause of my anxiety, and in turn, this led to my school refusal as well. It last happened the year I left school, and so therefore I knew that it was a school problem. But I never had the difficulty at school itself which had the comparison with the lad with Encopresis had, and I am relieved about that, and felt sorry for him. I know that school was to blame for my anxiety which had led to both the problems at Infant School and also what happened many years later. Teachers are supposed to be loco parentis, but they are not compensation for not having one's parents there; familiar adults to us as children from birth. Sometimes, one had to tackle the issue head on: a friend of mine had mentioned in his school memoirs had wanted to use the toilet before school started, but as it was before 8.30 am, the caretaker wouldn't unlock the doors, and so he so desperate that he urinated in the corner of the playground, and got in trouble as a result.
You know the stereotype which happened to be around comprehensive schools in the 1980s and 1990s; the threat of having one's head flushed down the toilet by the 5th Years - the unofficial Top Dogs of the School (aka Year 11s)? Thankfully, it didn't happen to me; I managed from the start of the day until lunchtime to "hold anything in" in those three and a half hours, almost in legs-crossed territory, (it could make the last lesson before lunch difficult to focus on properly). As soon as I arrived home, I went to the toilet before starting on lunch. No wonder "Gripper's Office" in Grange Hill back in 1982 just happened to be the boys' toilets; one place on site where anything goes, probably due to the fact that one needed privacy to do what we needed to do. Roland Browning got bullied in there because of course, it was the most "private" place on site. But what would have actually happened if a teacher had walked in, and someone was using the urinals at that moment? The shock of seeing someone like that at that very moment could... make someone wet themselves as they tried to make themselves respectable in record time before anyone actually notices? I personally think that part of the school toilet anxiety stems from bullying which could take place in the toilets, and even more, the so-called privacy of the toilet cubicles.
There are also the Jeremy Beadle-alike practical jokers; yes, some do put clingfilm over the bowl (but not quite, a la Kenneth Williams); yes, they do wet paper towels and throw them on the ceiling, (which was what the controversy all about as I mentioned a couple of paragraphs ago); and yes, they do fill balloons or whoopee cushions with water and throw them over the other side of the cubicle. Remember Deputy Head Maurice Bronson getting soaked in Grange Hill? Because the male staff toilets were closed, poor old Bronson had to use the boys' toilets instead; no doubt a controversial thing in hindsight, and that is one of the few places where one would see toilets in a drama series. Apart from male extras nipping into the gents in the Rovers Return and Prisoner: Cell Block H inmates working in the laundry announcing that they are "just going to the toot", is any wonder that we hardly even see characters go to the toilets in soaps and dramas? Even someone had written to a tabloid newspaper many years ago asking why soap characters never seem to go to the toilet. It's because they want privacy from the millions of views, that's why!
Many years later as an adult, if I am travelling on a National Express coach, the toilet hardly ever seems to work properly anyway; it only seems to work when the vehicle is in motion and one shakes like a jelly, it is so difficult to do one's business when that happens, and so one is crossed-legged again during the second-half of the journey. When the coach stops, the engine isn't running, and so the toilet won't work properly. I have no problem using public toilets when I am out and about and certainly no problem when using Premier Inn toilets as long as they are en suite bathrooms within the hotel room which I am staying in. Apart from that I have no problem if I need a Number One, although the Number Two situation can be a bit more delicate, and one prefers to be on familiar surroundings when that happens. Some toilets do feel like strangers to us, and they did say back then to say no to strangers, no matter who or what they were. At least, one can flush it away, depending on what it actually is.
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