Bullying

[Richard1978]

Re: Bullying

I didn't get bullied much at secondary school but the school library was a great place to go at lunchtimes to be out of the way of trouble.

[80sChav]

Re: Bullying

I really hate it when people are called wimps and sissies simply because they don't like violence and attacking people. I am certain that the NSPCC would also agree with me when I say that corporal punishment is the wrong way as to combating bullying as well.

My inner-city comprehensive school (which closed in 1995 because it was so close to another comprehensive school in the area and the pupils were going to the other school), had been a breeding ground for bullying that even a lot of the teaching staff didn't know that it was going on. It was ironic that I would have preferred to have been in detention at break time myself so that I wouldn't have to go in the school playground to "face the music" as it were.

Me too Georghe - I agree with Yourself and richard about the cane. Though as I have said elsewhere - I think schools are a lot lot sticter now and do find more and better way's/policy's to stop it now - even though these days there are many more factors like the net thown in and the like - but I do hear they try to use cohesion as the way forward (or that is the sense I have)

You are right too about Detentions at Lunch - I would sure rather have had one too than "face the music", as I feel (and always did find socialising) not easy ay School, and now - but more so at School - justy "talking in the yard", that was'nt and is not me today even - making idol chit chat. I would rather use (and then too) use my free time doing something worthwhile - even playing Footy (which though Football i guess can attribute to a way for bullies to bully) I guess my other contribuatory factors re; mixing, idol chatting never helped my case

The great amaing to think to come out of all those years a-go I think though is Me, You, darren and anyone else in this thread who suffered at a bullies hand have found each other in here as Friends (almost un-related blood Brothers) and that is awesome I think that DYR has linked us all this way

80sChav

[George 1978]

Re: Bullying

I really hate it when people are called wimps and sissies simply because they don't like violence and attacking people. I am certain that the NSPCC would also agree with me when I say that corporal punishment is the wrong way as to combating bullying as well.

My inner-city comprehensive school (which closed in 1995 because it was so close to another comprehensive school in the area and the pupils were going to the other school), had been a breeding ground for bullying that even a lot of the teaching staff didn't know that it was going on. It was ironic that I would have preferred to have been in detention at break time myself so that I wouldn't have to go in the school playground to "face the music" as it were.

[Richard1978]

Re: Bullying

And what will that achieve? In this day and age, the irony is that caning would be bullying as well, as it would be seen in the eyes of the law assault, and perhaps even in a sexual way, if the "six of the best" concept was used. I wouldn't use petrol to put a fire out, so therefore, I wouldn't assault someone as a punishment for attacking someone else.

How many times have you read in the news about former headmasters and principals who were based at boarding schools and children's homes in the 1970s and 1980s being on trial for assault and child abuse from 30 to 40 years ago? Sorry, but I don't agree - I might be going soft here, but I think that the best solution is excluding the persons or persons involved in the incident, so that they would be no longer be a pupil at the school.

I was watching the episodes of Grange Hill where Gripper and Imelda were expelled, and I have to say that with regards to Imelda, McClusky would have used the correct procedures to exclude her for what she had done. However, we did had the Cathy Hargreaves caning incident from 1981, which probably would have not been seen in the 1991 series.

And I am not one of those Guardian-reading liberals either - as a British citizen, I just believe in common sense and treating fellow people with respect, and if that seems outdated for the 21st century society that we live in, then so be it.

I agree totally, the main problem seems that some teachers seemed to be "Little Hitlers", abusing their position of authority in a way they never get away with if they were working with adults. On the flip side some teachers would either resign or refuse to use the cane if it was brought back, fearing being sued by parents.

My old school tried a "zero tolerance" policy, no physical punishments but detentions were dished out for any little thing. Most of the time it was the normally rule abiding pupils that suffered & the trouble makers just didn't bother going to the detentions.

All this achieved were parents constantly ringing up the school complaining their children had been unfairly treated & teachers either getting the "Little Hitler" bug. or else refusing to give out detentions because they knew it was a flawed system. In the end it was dropped & the Head resigned not long afterwards.

[George 1978]

Re: Bullying

Bring back caning I say

And what will that achieve? In this day and age, the irony is that caning would be bullying as well, as it would be seen in the eyes of the law assault, and perhaps even in a sexual way, if the "six of the best" concept was used. I wouldn't use petrol to put a fire out, so therefore, I wouldn't assault someone as a punishment for attacking someone else.

How many times have you read in the news about former headmasters and principals who were based at boarding schools and children's homes in the 1970s and 1980s being on trial for assault and child abuse from 30 to 40 years ago? Sorry, but I don't agree - I might be going soft here, but I think that the best solution is excluding the persons or persons involved in the incident, so that they would be no longer be a pupil at the school.

I was watching the episodes of Grange Hill where Gripper and Imelda were expelled, and I have to say that with regards to Imelda, McClusky would have used the correct procedures to exclude her for what she had done. However, we did had the Cathy Hargreaves caning incident from 1981, which probably would have not been seen in the 1991 series.

And I am not one of those Guardian-reading liberals either - as a British citizen, I just believe in common sense and treating fellow people with respect, and if that seems outdated for the 21st century society that we live in, then so be it.

[George 1978]

Re: Bullying

It happened to me as well - there were a few of them over the 11 years I was at school, and it wasn't just the "sticks and stones" sort of thing in the school playground - I did have the bruises to prove that it happened. One's own schooldays were not the happiest days of our lives - that is a stupid and misleading saying as far as I am concerned.

There was one lad who was originally a friend, and because I wouldn't go along with what he said, he became an enemy. My parents came down to school to complain, but it didn't do much good.

We got the boy moved to another class, he threatened me at the back of the school. I told my late mother, and the following day, while I took the day off school, she stormed down to school, and shall we say that she did what I would have ever have done. However, when we told the police about the bullying, the officer who came to us understood the situation from the word go, and when we mentioned the boy's name, he was so familiar to police that the officer said that he would visit him at home - I don't know whether they actually did that, but it made little difference.

And of course, when I was walking home from school in Year 11 (and the irony was I wouldn't have gone there if some staff member hadn't driven me there at the start of the day), I was assaulted for no reason at all except for the fact that I happened to be passing him in the street - however, the fact that the other person attended another school meant that it was nothing to do with the school that I had attended. People used to say "wimp" and "why didn't you hit him back"? But I didn't want to play the bully at his own game and turn me into someone who attacks people. The upshot is that I would rather be a wimp than a criminal - what is wrong with that? Do people get arrested for being a wimp?

You may have seen my other threads, "Walking Out of School" and "Refusing to Go to School", and they were based on my experiences of the difficulties I had at school to supplement what I have said so far in this thread.

I left school back in 1994, and nearly 24 years later, I have always found it difficult socialising with people of my own age group, my anxiety, depression and social phobias have followed me around like a shadow, even when I moved from the inner-city areas to the suburbs a few years ago. I believe that it is one factor that I have never had a proper relationship with a woman, or got married, and the fact that I just don't want to be reminded of things like that - I had decided that I wanted to be gay so that I can opt out of all that.

School was horrible - especially when you put factors in place such as teachers, subjects, kids, and school uniforms all into the same pot.

[Twocky61]

Re: Bullying

Bring back caning I say

[darren]

Re: Bullying


i can clearly remember my form teacher in my ist year of secondary blonde girl must only have been in her 20's she got called names and even had her in tears poor girl.

Saw this a lot during my school yrs the odd teacher being punched as well.

[80sChav]

Re: Bullying

Thoughh I experienced a lot of bullying towards me - I am so glad I at least had Primary School as "the Halycon Summers" of me life from the ages of about 4/5 to 10 years old

We had fallings out amongst us bit we was "real tight knit" as a group - me and my other 4/5 good and best friend at primary until a bit way through 1t Year at Secondary. As well too some of them got a tad nasty - verging on bullying to me at Primary and likewise towards others - that is one time I am thankfull for/rowards. Though sadly and quite often at secondary the case occurs then though that "innocent Pups become "Big Angry Dogs" and people fall out mega time/bully heavily as I experienced, and
as so with one of the friends who was not a best mate too (but sort of a good one).

80sChav

[Donald the Great]

Re: Bullying

I copped plenty of verbal bullying at boarding school. My small size my, odd nose, my likes and dislikes were all subjects for a torrent of abuse for many years. One day I said "I have had all I am taking" So the next time my bully tried it on I stood up to him. That started a feud which would only be finished by putting on boxing gloves and going several rounds. I licked him and the bullying stopped.

[80sChav]

Re: Bullying

This is a subject close to me. I was, and still am, picked on. Both primary and secondary school, as well as at college. It got so bad, and the teachers never stepped in to stop it, except for the deputy head, I almost killed two of those who were picking on me. I even had so called friends turn on me and join the bully's, so I set about them too, and destroyed them. Then, they wanted to be friends again, needless to say, I told them to stick their offer in no uncertain terms.

Then, there was college. I got picked on in front of the tutors there who did nothing to stop it. So, one day I decided to take a knife with me and I was going to kill the culprit, after he offered to fight me. Then, he backed down, so I didn't need the knife.

Now, I have a serious mental illness because of it all.

I feel for you here Optimus - I had ait bad too with friends turning on me etc - though not at College and Primary mind

This is terrible what you suffered - opening up must have taken somethging - which I hold my hat out to you/take it off to you

80sChav

[darren]

Re: Bullying

Bullying of any sort is wrong as i had plenty of experience of it at school

boys bullying boys girls bullying girls or girls and boys bullying each other.

Bullying was very bad generally when i was at school not sure if its as bad now or if its dealt with quicker.

when i was at secondary school mid 70's there was a girl kathy who was relentlessly bullied by a gang of toy-boy girls

nowadays it would be at home also, what with social media giving the victim no hidey hole.

Anyway kathy.....................................

We were both in a relationship which i reckon made life easier for kathy. The bullies were more dubious about bullying her, though they toned the bullying of her aware of me in the mix

i gave them enough rope to hang themselves with. I told kathy what i was doing & bought her a panic button to go into her pocket ready to press should the need arise

then came the day kathy hit the button. Now was my time to act

they all got a punch in the face

they threatened to report this incident to the headmaster/principle

"feel free; go ahead and tell him" i said to them

they left it there & left kathy alone.

In fact they ceased their bullying lest i punch them again lol

they were girls; i was a boy? You don't hit girls?

Depends on the situation

[Twocky61]

Re: Bullying

When I was at secondary school mid 70's there was a girl Kathy who was relentlessly bullied by a gang of toy-boy girls

Nowadays it would be at home also, what with social media giving the victim no hidey hole.

Anyway Kathy.....................................

We were both in a relationship which I reckon made life easier for Kathy. The bullies were more dubious about bullying her, though they toned the bullying of her aware of me in the mix

I gave them enough rope to hang themselves with. I told Kathy what I was doing & bought her a panic button to go into her pocket ready to press should the need arise

Then came the day Kathy hit the button. Now was my time to act

They all got a punch in the face

They threatened to report this incident to the headmaster/principle

"Feel free; go ahead and tell him" I said to them

They left it there & left Kathy alone.

In fact they ceased their bullying lest I punch them again lol

They were girls; I was a boy? You don't hit girls?

Depends on the situation

[OptimusPrime1980]

Re: Bullying

This is a subject close to me. I was, and still am, picked on. Both primary and secondary school, as well as at college. It got so bad, and the teachers never stepped in to stop it, except for the deputy head, I almost killed two of those who were picking on me. I even had so called friends turn on me and join the bully's, so I set about them too, and destroyed them. Then, they wanted to be friends again, needless to say, I told them to stick their offer in no uncertain terms.

Then, there was college. I got picked on in front of the tutors there who did nothing to stop it. So, one day I decided to take a knife with me and I was going to kill the culprit, after he offered to fight me. Then, he backed down, so I didn't need the knife.

Now, I have a serious mental illness because of it all.

[Arran]

Re: Bullying

An Australian news article

"IF your child is unhappy at their school, there is no point toughing it out, with research showing dissatisfaction at school is one of the greatest predictors of teenage depression."

http://www.canberratimes.com.au/act-...405-3663u.html

I agree with it. No point toughing it out.