Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

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"Oh no"

Can anyone remember doing something extremely embarrising at school? When I was in the last year of junior school, at morning assembly I was daydreaming,when I came to everyone was looking at me.The teacher at the end of my line told me afterwards that when heads were bowed for prayer I started clapping,then looked at my teacher,waved and said "alrite mum".This makes me cringe everytime I think about it That was the path set for the rest of my schooling,I dont think things were ever the same again Still a bit mad now and Im 40 in a few weeks!!!

[AndyGranda]

Re: "Oh no"

I've never fogotten this, ...though I can laugh now! But it was embarrassing at the time - I was in primary 7. I wrote this poem, which I later published in a book of poetry I called 'Fragments' as a tributal-laugh to it...

A Christening



Shouldering bone to the large cedar door
resisting the weight on the handle
like a newly - felled tree
it slammed hard behind me
whilst I inhaled a chestful of candle



An entrance now foiled by the silence I`d spoiled
made it clear I was late for the mass
all the heads turned around
as the teacher`s brow frowned
as I joined with the rest of my class



I`d ran all the distance from home to the church
falling over and scraping my knee
my stomach was mourning
the breakfast I`d missed
and I desperately needed a pee



My classmates from school started playing the fool
making "psssss!" sounds and slowly going "pish...sh...sh...sh!"
I needed great strength
to maintain my control
so I inwardly prayed for this wish



Then the third time we knelt, I immediately felt
such an urge that no dam could contain
I could only let go
As I’d started to flow
and my duffle-coat started to stain



It was, firstly, quite warm and a certain relief
as I knelt there creating this pool
then, beginning to sting
became discomforting
and it stank as it started to cool



The seventh grade girls sat directly behind
heaping scorn on my mountain of shame
and all the way back
to the school from the church
they adopted my new Christened name.....

"PISHY - BREEKS!!" - they called me.

[branny]

Re: "Oh no"

i was a big six million dollar man fan when i was at primary school and while we were waitng for the teacher to turn up i was re-enacting a scene rom the previous nights show in front of the whole class (in slow motion of course) using one of those window poles with the hook on the end. What i didn't realise was that the headmaster was stood at the classroom doorway watching the whole thing. I didn't notice until i'd finished and wondered what all the sniggering was about. i turned around to face him and wanted the ground to open up. He just shook his head and called me a "Bionic twit".

[Marine Boy]

Re: "Oh no"

I was about ten years old. It was a PE lesson and we were playing crab-football in the hall. I hated PE and was pretty hopeless at most sports. I could also never remember who was in my team when we played games like this. The ball came to me, I was near the goal-mouth with no one challenging me, so I took a shot. It went in! It was my own goal. I can hear the sneers and groans of ridicule even today.

(By the way, that is a wonderful poem, Andy! )

[rossobantam]

Re: "Oh no"

what's crab football??

[AndyGranda]

Re: "Oh no"

i was a big six million dollar man fan when i was at primary school and while we were waitng for the teacher to turn up i was re-enacting a scene rom the previous nights show in front of the whole class (in slow motion of course) using one of those window poles with the hook on the end. What i didn't realise was that the headmaster was stood at the classroom doorway watching the whole thing. I didn't notice until i'd finished and wondered what all the sniggering was about. i turned around to face him and wanted the ground to open up. He just shook his head and called me a "Bionic twit".

...Should have run at a blurr with your bionic legs, punched him with your bionic arm and swiftly made it back to where you were before anyone noticed, ...and left him feeling dumb-struck.

[AndyGranda]

Re: "Oh no"

I was about ten years old. It was a PE lesson and we were playing crab-football in the hall. I hated PE and was pretty hopeless at most sports. I could also never remember who was in my team when we played games like this. The ball came to me, I was near the goal-mouth with no one challenging me, so I took a shot. It went in! It was my own goal. I can hear the sneers and groans of ridicule even today.

(By the way, that is a wonderful poem, Andy! )

Cheers MB

[Marine Boy]

Re: "Oh no"

what's crab football??

You like...crouch down and then reach backwards with your hands so you are on a kind of backwards-all-fours. Then you move around like that.

You are going to tell me that we had some kind of weird and cruel PE teacher and no one else ever did this......aren't you.

[rossobantam]

Re: "Oh no"

yep, that's about the size of it

[culnara]

Re: "Oh no"

about 5 yrs old in primary school, I have a vivid recollection of putting my fingers in my ears and screaming at the top of my lungs while the teacher was talking ( my thinking behind doing this was that because it did not sound so loud, no one would notice ) Teacher was extremely ****** off and gave me a right b*ll*king, during which I kinda realised that although It didnt sound loud to me due to insertation of fingers in ears, it was indeed very loud and disrupted the whole class

[kazboot]

Re: "Oh no"

I was about ten years old. It was a PE lesson and we were playing crab-football in the hall. I hated PE and was pretty hopeless at most sports. I could also never remember who was in my team when we played games like this. The ball came to me, I was near the goal-mouth with no one challenging me, so I took a shot. It went in! It was my own goal. I can hear the sneers and groans of ridicule even today.

(By the way, that is a wonderful poem, Andy! )

If it makes you feel any better Marine Boy, in secondary school once I ran the whole length of the pitch in a hockey match with the ball unchallenged and scored a goal. I looked around for congrats, but was met with disdain because it was my own goal!

We also played crab football in our school.

[Marine Boy]

Re: "Oh no"

Thanks kazboot. You have indeed made me feel better

[darren]

Re: school dodginess...

not so much in terms of what i did.
more of funny things that happened to me.

the school trousers i wore only had a button and a few times my button came off and my trousers came down.
and i had to say miss will you sew my button back on.
strange thing is it always happened in home economics class.

i did not mind the trousers with the metal clip far better.
you girls where lucky you did not have one button skirts.
sometimes i brought string with me in case the button came off.

[Richard1978]

Re: Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

I once managed to split some trousers at school & had to walk very stiff legged for the rest of the day to stop it from showing.

[stud1al]

Re: Worst (Funniest?) Thing I Did At School

My class was doing something for the assembly.
When it came to my turn to say something i burped instead .Couldn't help it
Even the teachers laughed at that.