Caption Contest

[catflap]

If you don't stop touching yourself in public, this is what I replace your XBox with.

[Cartimand]

My boyfriend insists it's safer to ride side-saddle, so you can't b0ll0ck yourself on the gear-knob.

[Cartimand]

Aeroplane 1: "I heard the weather's really bad over Liverpool today and John Lennon airport has cancelled all flights in and out"
Aeroplane 2: "Imagine all the people!"

[Cartimand]

Charlton Heston: Oh no! How could this happen to me?
Ape: OK well let's analyse this for a moment; you land on a planet with a perfectly breathable atmosphere, with horses, trees, a Moon in the sky and even apes that speak perfect English, and yet you only finally twig that it's planet Earth when you spot the Statue of Liberty? Let's face it bucko, you ain't the sharpest tool in the box, are you?

[Cartimand]

Damn! Still not enough for Oasis tickets!