Caption Contest

[Cartimand]

Charlton Heston: Oh no! How could this happen to me?
Ape: OK well let's analyse this for a moment; you land on a planet with a perfectly breathable atmosphere, with horses, trees, a Moon in the sky and even apes that speak perfect English, and yet you only finally twig that it's planet Earth when you spot the Statue of Liberty? Let's face it bucko, you ain't the sharpest tool in the box, are you?

[Cartimand]

Aeroplane 1: "I heard the weather's really bad over Liverpool today and John Lennon airport has cancelled all flights in and out"
Aeroplane 2: "Imagine all the people!"

[Cartimand]

My boyfriend insists it's safer to ride side-saddle, so you can't b0ll0ck yourself on the gear-knob.

[catflap]

If you don't stop touching yourself in public, this is what I replace your XBox with.

[Cartimand]

Oh FFS mum! Touchscreens won't be invented for 25 years yet!

[Cartimand]

Here's a thought dahlings: whatever clothes you put on, if you die, that's your ghost costume FOREVER...

[Semi42]

“I’m sorry Mr Wyngard, your dressing room is down the corridor , that one belongs to Suzi Quattro” ...

[Cartimand]

Pass the salt!

Pravda is reporting that the Special Salt Operation has advanced almost to mid-table.

[Moonraker]

Pass the salt!

[Moonraker]

Pass the salt!

[catflap]

I made this outfit out of an old bike - handlebars moustache, leather seat I used for the jacket, that just left what to do with the pump...

[Cartimand]

I'm dressed like this because my date said they were into leather and bondage - then he tied me up and stole my wallet.

[Cartimand]

When my tailor asked what side I dressed, I simply answered "both"...

[Cartimand]

Nervous politburo member: "Pssst comrade. Shouldn't we sit closer to glorious leader?"

Politburo member #2: "I wouldn't, comrade general. The last person to try that got the Will Smith treatment."

[Cartimand]

Nervous politburo member: "Hey comrade. Did you know they call it his Pinocchio table? Every time he tells a lie, it grows a centimetre"