Caption Contest

[Semi42]

“ No….I’ll write the theme tune AND sing the theme tune”

[Cartimand]

Listen guv. Either you get me that promotion or I'm off to work for Arthur Daley.

[W1 Rover]

"I get it, mislaid your wallet again guv, your shout too...never mind, I'm sure it'll turn up."
"I'm off home, going to curl up on the sofa with that blue nun I've been promising myself....phones off the hook by the way."

[Cartimand]

Look guv, I know the Consul, Granada and Jag are nice motors, but shouldn't we consider the carbon emissions?

[Cartimand]

Carter: Damn it guv! I just realised that I forgot to lock the office and left the door wide open! What should I do?
Regan: Shut it!

[Semi42]

You can’t be sucking lollipops without a shaved head guv

[Cartimand]

Carter: "Oi... guv. Shouldn't you have your glasses on?"
Regan: "I have contacts."
Carter: "I don't care who you know, you should still be wearing your glasses."

[tex]

Carter....sure showed those car theives guv.
Regan... Yeah, we won't be seeing them again for a while.

[Cartimand]

Got him sarge - but will it stand up in court?

[catflap]

"I've been nicked by the Fuzz!"
"Sorry mate, edge of the helmet is a bit sharp"

[catflap]

"Getting onto the pitch isn't easy Sarge, I'm surprised he pulled it off!"
"Yes, he was in enough trouble just for streaking."

[Cartimand]

Bloody typical! Last week my colleague got Erica Rowe and all I get is this dickhead!

[George 1978]

I know it's perfectly legal for a pregnant woman to pee in a policeman's helmet, but...

[George 1978]

Take that thermometer out of your mouth - anyone would think that you were ill

[Cartimand]

"It's OK Sarge - I've got it all under control. Apparently he's a Spanish national and has given his name as Senor Willy..."