Caption Contest

[Cartimand]

Good morning paparazzi.
Hey! I never knew Smith & Wesson made cameras!

[Cartimand]

I just heard that, having been ambushed by a cake that wasn't my fault, I may be entitled to compensation - woo hoo!

[Cartimand]

Nervous politburo member: "Pssst comrade. Do you think glorious leader is trying to compensate for something?"

[Semi42]

Oh, and order another 20 cans of mr sheen

[Cartimand]

Nervous politburo member: "Hey comrade. Did you know they call it his Pinocchio table? Every time he tells a lie, it grows a centimetre"

[Cartimand]

Nervous politburo member: "Pssst comrade. Shouldn't we sit closer to glorious leader?"

Politburo member #2: "I wouldn't, comrade general. The last person to try that got the Will Smith treatment."

[Cartimand]

When my tailor asked what side I dressed, I simply answered "both"...

[Cartimand]

I'm dressed like this because my date said they were into leather and bondage - then he tied me up and stole my wallet.

[catflap]

I made this outfit out of an old bike - handlebars moustache, leather seat I used for the jacket, that just left what to do with the pump...

[Moonraker]

Pass the salt!

[Moonraker]

Pass the salt!

[Cartimand]

Pass the salt!

Pravda is reporting that the Special Salt Operation has advanced almost to mid-table.

[Semi42]

“I’m sorry Mr Wyngard, your dressing room is down the corridor , that one belongs to Suzi Quattro” ...

[Cartimand]

Here's a thought dahlings: whatever clothes you put on, if you die, that's your ghost costume FOREVER...

[Cartimand]

Oh FFS mum! Touchscreens won't be invented for 25 years yet!